What Could Have Been
by Indigogold
Summary: What happened that day on the beach after Chuck and Sarah first met? What should have happened when they first kissed? I'm taking a Charah moment from each episode, and writing about what could have happened. It's a series of one-shots, please read.
1. Chuck versus The Intersect

**What could have been.**

**Chuck vs. The Intersect **

Sarah strolled along the beach front, carrying her boots in her hands as she felt the cold sand slip between her toes. She looked on to see the sun descending in the sky, creating a perfect horizon. The tide washed away the markings on the sand, but the same couldn't be said for her problems.

She stood beside Chuck, noticing how distressed he looked she decided to wait for him to speak.

"How long have you been here?" He said, his eyes focusing on the sea.

"All night." She said, sitting down barely an inch away from him.

"There's nowhere I can run, is there?" Chuck replied, almost sighing.

"Not from us." She looked at him as he stared on ahead. "Talk to me Chuck."

"Yesterday I was making twelve bucks an hour fixing computers, _now, _I have one in my brain." He took a breath before he continued. "I can't figure out why Bryce did this, why he chose me."

"What are you going to do with me? What happens now?" He was suddenly curious.

"For now you go back to your own life, we'll protect you and you'll work with us."

"My sister and my friends, what do I tell them?" He asked.

"For now you tell them nothing to keep them safe." She said, he felt his heart drop as the gravity of the situation hit him.

A small silence ensued. "I need you to do one more thing for me." Sarah said.

_What now? _Chuck thought. _You want me to trade my hand in for a gun? Make me the next bionic man? _

"What?"

"Trust me, Chuck." She whispered, as a magical jolt shot through his body as they locked eyes. Butterflies exploded in the pit of her stomach and continued to rise and pulled on the strings of Sarah's heart.

"I can do that." He smiled as he relaxed and let his head rest on the sand.

"I know this is a lot for you, Chuck." Sarah said, lying back with him. She didn't know what it was about him but she felt totally at ease.

"Well, yeah, it is." He replied, angling himself so that his questioning brown eyes shone into hers.

"I promise I'll always protect you." Sarah turned away once she heard how cheesy it sounded out loud.

"Thanks." He smiled. "So, our first date, was it all fake?

"No, most of that was all me, except for the fact that I don't usually dance like that." Sarah grinned.

"What? Aw man, I loved that dancing, though it made me feel slightly awkward. You were practically between my legs and everything!" He exclaimed, as the images replayed in his head.

"I was throwing knifes, at different angles, the dancing what just a decoy." Sarah turned around again so that their eyes locked and at that moment she felt so attracted to Chuck.

She couldn't understand it though, he was just her new asset. Bryce had only just died, but even though she didn't think that she actually loved Bryce, she wasn't sure she was over him yet. She sighed deeply, closed her eyes and listened to the tide as it swished inwards and outwards.

She heard Chuck breathing softly beside her and she turned to him, cupping her head in the palm of her hands. He looked back at her and felt something arising in him, he didn't know what it was but he did know that he hadn't felt like this since Jill.

He had only just met this woman, but felt as if he had known her his whole life, he smiled contently to himself as the wind binded itself around him and took off with his troubling thoughts. At that moment, there was no intersect, no people trying to kill him, it was just him lying next to an exceptionally beautiful woman.

Sarah knew that she would have to tell Chuck about Casey working alongside him at Buy More and her working just across the way from him, but she didn't want to throw it all on him too quickly.

His eyes bore into hers, and saw a light behind her eyes that was different from when he had first met her, they weren't cold and professional, they were warm and tender. He couldn't understand how one woman's eyes could tell him so much.

Chuck didn't think that he had ever seen anyone as beautiful as Sarah. Her hair was a golden-blonde colour that shone in the evening sunlight, her eyes - those eyes, so gorgeous and blue with a lifetime of stories behind them. And she was the perfect height, tall with willowy, slender limbs - the type of body that only supermodels had, like the ones in the magazines Ellie had bought as a teenager.

Sarah watched Chuck scanning her body upwards and downwards and felt unfamiliarly self-conscious, like any woman, she had things that she didn't like about her body. She never usually felt this nervous though, she had no idea why but she felt excited and nauseous at the same time.

She loved the way Chuck's hair was wild and unruly but didn't clash with his kind, chocolate eyes. And yes, he was nerdy, but she found that so attractive. Though, she didn't actually recognise her feelings yet, but they were slowly moulding into a crush. Not a childish, pathetic crush where she could write his name over and over again and doodle hearts next to it, but something that might develop into an emotional obsession.

"Why are you looking at me like that, Sarah?" Chuck asked, as she tore her eyes away from his crotch area.

"Like what?" Sarah almost blushed, but she hid her embarrassment behind her rock-hard spy exterior.

"Like you want to eat me!" Chuck laughed.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Sarah apologised, but didn't think to mention that he had been looking at her the same way not five minutes ago.

"I don't know what it is about this beach, but I feel a lot better now. It's not like the tide can wash away my troubles but it certainly can make you forget for a while." Chuck smiled, as the soothing waves reflected in his eyes.

"I know what you mean, one time I was on this really tough mission and-" She stopped herself before she said too much.

"And what?" Chuck misunderstood her pause and thought she was about to continue.

"Nothing." She breathed as Chuck finally understood that she was not a woman for sharing or caring, she was just his new 'handler' and that was that. He already knew that he was developing a crush on her but he really didn't want it to, where would it get him? He would only fall down the unwanted path of heartbreak.

"Okay." He got to her feet and looked at his watch. Sarah stood up too, so that she was only a few inches away from him.

"We'd better go." Sarah said, but she didn't move, she was transfixed on his eyes.

"Yeah." Chuck said, he didn't move either. He moved a little closer to her as he almost felt the heat of her breath on his cheek.

She felt like he was going to kiss her, she tore his gaze from his and walked in the direction of her car. She had spent years and years building a wall around herself, she wasn't about to let it down now. Her father had taught her, don't show your feelings, you'll only get hurt.

Chuck exhaled and put his hands into his pockets, he needed to go home now and get himself into work. And face his worried sister, he had been out all night.

He thought this whole spy thing was going to be hard, with Sarah Walker, he had another thing coming.

**So, what did you think? I know I'm doing missing moments but they're not going to get together yet in my story. So my aim is to take a Charah moment from each episode and let my imagination take over, because we don't know what happened after these moments.**

**Next up: Chuck versus the Helicopter. What did happen during the dinner between Chuck, Ellie, Sarah and Awesome at Wienerlicious?**

**Oh, and please ****review!**

**Emma, 14, UK. (* I added it again to correct my mistake)  
**


	2. Chuck versus The Helicopter

**Chuck versus The Helicopter**

It had been a very long day for everybody. Sarah had just attended Bryce's funeral, so she wasn't exactly on top of the world. Also, when Chuck had been in that helicopter about a thousand feet in the air, she was so terrified that he was going to get hurt. She had to keep her voice calm and collected as she slowly guided him downwards until he was safely on the ground. Then she felt angry, so she shouted at him, but she didn't mean it.

And as she was working at her 'job', she couldn't help but worry that she had scared him off, she didn't want him to feel intimidated by her. She started to clean a grubby table as a million thoughts span through her head.

She head the door go and then heard Chuck's voice utter, "Knock, knock."

"Hey, Chuck!" She said, swinging her body around.

"H-how is everything? I saw you at the funeral.." He said nervously, awaiting her reaction.

"Oh, uh, yeah, I had to go." She paused. "After everything he did, Bryce was still my partner."

"I'm not accusing you of anything - today." He said, walking up to the counter. "Yesterday, yes, I may have laid it on a little thick with the accusing ." She looked into his eyes and didn't see a hint of humour in them, they were sincere.

"Instead of not trusting you, I should have been thanking you for saving my life and protecting your country and.." He babbled as her mouth twitched at the corners. "And making really tasty gourmet wieners."

Sarah smiled at his bashfulness. "I'm sorry I yelled at you." Was all she could muster.

"- It was our first fight, it's a big step if our relationship were remotely real." He said, looking rather disappointed.

"You know, with Doctor Zarnow gone, Chuck, the intersect secrets aren't going anywhere. That's means, more missions, danger, more secrets that you can't tell your sister or your friends-"

Chuck looked up and met her eyes. "I know that."

"Some people want to be hero's and others have to be asked. So Chuck, are you ready?"

He inhaled and thought about it for a second, nodded and said something which sounded like the word yes.

"Good." She said quietly as Ellie, Awesome and Morgan entered through the main door.

"Hi." Ellie smiled, looking slightly awkward. "I hope I'm not interrupting."

"Uh." Chuck looked at Sarah. "I thought we'd give that dinner another shot, maybe here."

"We knew you would forgive him!" Morgan shouted as he wrapped his arm around Ellie, who turned as stiff as a board.

Sarah laughed. "Right, I didn't realise you all had to eat my cooking!"

Chuck sucked in his lips and made his eyes bulge. Sarah giggled as she handed Chuck a wiener on a stick, he gazed at it intently. "Cheers!" He said, raising the sausage. He took a bite and made a face which said, this is delicious.

Everyone grabbed a sausage and sat around a table meant for four, but Morgan grabbed an extra chair and squeezed in at the corner. Morgan stared at Sarah with her cute Wienerlicious uniform on and with her hair tied into bunches, it should have looked childish and immature but she made it look sexy. How could his best friend get someone as hot as this?

He always thought that they were equals, yes, he knew Chuck was good looking in a geeky sort of way but, man, had he been wrong. If he could get someone like her, did that mean _Chuck _was _sexy_? He shuddered, those two words did not belong together in the same sentence.

"Morgan, are you okay?" Chuck whispered as the others were busy trying to get to know Sarah.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. The wiener just hit a sensitive part in my teeth, that's all." He lied.

"Okay." Chuck mumbled, turning his attention back to Sarah. He honestly couldn't believe how beautiful she was. He was really disappointed when he had learned that she wasn't really interested in him, she was a spy. The hardest part was now, he didn't know if anything that came out of her mouth was true. Or the way that she smiled when she had been with him, was that all just an act too?

He sighed and tried to join in on the conversation.

"So tell me Sarah, do have any brothers or sisters?" Ellie asked, her eyes focused on Sarah's.

"Yes, I have a sister." Sarah nodded, hoping that she wouldn't have to say anymore. She really didn't like making up things about her life, she hated the way that she could lie so easily, it was like a second nature to her. If her mother were to see her now, she wouldn't be very proud at all.

They carried on talking as the subject drifted to Chuck and Sarah.

"So, Sarah do you _like _Chuck?" Morgan asked. Sarah was beginning to feel like she was being interrogated.

"_Morgan!" _Chuck hissed into his ear, then shot him an angry look. He gazed back innocently at him, as if to say _what?_

She felt every eye upon her as she felt the urge to push herself backwards on her chair, get to her feet and sprint into the distance. "Err, sure I do." She smiled falsely.

"Do you see this relationship going anywhere?" Awesome asked.

"Guys, come on, I think that's enough!" Chuck protested.

"Yes." Sarah turned to Chuck with a genuine twinkle in her eye. "Yes, I do."

"Aww!" Ellie exclaimed, clasping her hands together.

Through out the rest of the night, they talked easily together, not even a moment of silence ensued. Sarah couldn't actually remember when she had felt this happy, when she was actually part of something, she already felt cared for and it felt nice.

A few hours later, when they were all sitting in a nearby pub, Sarah leant over and whispered in Chuck's ear.

"Meet me in the bathroom in five minutes." She said quietly.

Chuck raised a brow. "What? Why?"

"Just do it!" She hissed.

"The men or the women's'?" He asked.

"Just meet in in between."

"Okay, just tell me vaguely, what's this about?" His head tilted in confusion.

"Our cover." She replied, pulling back from her seat and excusing herself from the table. The rest of the gang were a little drunk so really did not notice.

Two minutes later Chuck did the same.

"Bathroom sex." Awesome grinned over his beer. "Kinky."

"Ew." Ellie commented with a disgusted face.

Chuck stood in between the two toilets looking around for Sarah. All of a sudden the ladies toilets door opened and Sarah emerged looking brighter and fresh faced. What was it about women's toilets, did they have spas in there or personal make-up artists?

"Hi." Chuck said, leaning his head back, trying to be cool and aloof.

"Hey." Sarah answered, edging closer to him.

"What is it?" He asked as Sarah opened her lips to speak but then closed them again.

"I'm worried about our cover. Also, I don't want Ellie and the gang getting too attached to me as I might not be here for long."

His face fell. "Your leaving?"

"No! I mean, I don't know what the future holds but being a spy is a tricky business, you never know when you have to leave next."

"Oh, they'll be fine, they didn't get too attached to Jill." Chuck smiled awkwardly.

"Who's that again?" Sarah asked.

"Don't worry, what do you want to do about our cover?" He turned to her, his eyes slightly glazed.

"How about, we hold hands?" She said anxiously.

"Hold hands?" Chuck whispered like a schoolchild. He coughed. "I can do that."

"Good, me too." He reached out and touched her hand, making her heart flutter. Sarah placed her hand on her chest, she hoped she wasn't getting heartburn. He wrapped his hand around hers and smiled reassuringly at her.

"Ready?" He whispered.

"Ready." She smiled, as they walked out of the door.

When they got back from the table Ellie, Awesome and Morgan all looked up from their drinks with knowing smiles on their faces.

"What?" Sarah and Chuck said in unison.

"Nothing." They replied back at the same time. Ellie looked at their entwined hands and smiled to herself, her brother was finally happy, she really hoped that this relationship would work out, he seemed to really like her.

"Lets go." Chuck said, as everyone grabbed their coats and got to their feet.

Out on the street Sarah and Chuck swung their hands as they walked along, he felt as if he wanted the road ahead of him to stretch on forever, he never wanted to let go.

_Wait, stop a minute Chuck. Don't do this to yourself, not again. _Chuck thought angrily. _Do what? I'm not doing anything, it's just for the cover. _His other half disagreed. _Cover, pfft, yeah right._

Ellie and Awesome gave Morgan a lift home so Chuck got into Sarah's Porsche with her. As soon as their car was out of sight, Sarah sped off in the opposite direction.

"That went okay, didn't it?" Chuck smiled.

For some reason Sarah felt nauseatingly happy. "Yes, it did." She beamed.

They pulled up at Casa Bartowski and Sarah smiled devastatingly at Chuck.

"See you." She said awkwardly.

"Bye!" He jumped out as she waved and sped off.

_Don't, Chuck, just don't._

**Review please, I love to know that people are reading this, it makes me want to write more, the next chapter will be better as there are more Charah moments in episode 3! **


	3. Chuck versus The Tango

**Chuck versus the Tango. **

**(**_**Sarah 'briefing' Chuck before their mission)**_

Sarah rested her hands on the table and leant towards Chuck, her face was calm and reassuring, it made Chuck want to relax, but he was still worried.

"Don't worry about tonight, no reason to be nervous I'm not-" She placed her hand on his and suddenly she had his full attention, his skin prickled at her touch. "-going to leave your side."

"Me.." He glanced down at their hands at raised his eyes back up to meet hers. "..Nervous? Come on. Never."

Sarah smiled disbelievingly. "Your hand is a little moist."

"It does that when I'm freaking out!" He admitted. Her smile widened and she burst into hysterics, she clutched her side and her laughter was infectious, Chuck began laughing too.

"What's so funny?" He managed to splutter.

"You and your clammy hands, it's so cute!" Sarah beamed as his face turned from humorous to almost serious.

"Cute? It's cute when I'm freaking out?" He said, pretending to be mad. He ran his hands through his hair and left it sticking up in an awkward position.

"Yes." She giggled, she reached up to his hair and smoothed it back down. Chuck looked into her eyes as she stroked his hair. When she realised what she was doing, she quickly lowered her hands and resumed her professional face.

"Your uh, hair was sticking up." She said defensively.

"Oh no, no don't excuse your actions, I understand." Chuck smiled almost arrogantly.

Sarah raised her eyebrow questioningly. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Doesn't matter." Chuck shrugged as he stood up to leave.

"No!" Sarah jumped up and stood right in front of him. "Tell me!"

"Geeze! Sarah all I said was you don't need to excuse your actions for touching me! What's up?" He looked baffled.

"I just-" Sarah started.

"Look there's Ellie and Awesome!" Chuck nearly shouted.

"Hold me!" Sarah suddenly piped up.

"You what?" He stepped back, he watched as Ellie and Awesome got closer.

"We've been going out for at least over a month now, we have to look affectionate!" Sarah hissed.

"Okay!" He said, he pulled her to him, almost like they were on a dance floor, he wrapped his arms around the small of her back and pressed her chest against his. Her breath caught in her throat for a moment, she couldn't think, she couldn't breathe. She closed her eyes for a moment and let herself fall completely against him.

_Walker! _Sarah thought to herself. _What in God's name are you doing? Wait. Why am I worrying? It's just for the cover._

Ellie and Awesome were only walking past to go into Large Mart. Ellie stopped for a moment and waved.

"Hey guys, your looking cuter than ever today!" She shouted.

Chuck smiled falsely. "Thanks!" He replied.

"See you later!" Ellie shouted before disappearing hand-in-hand with Devon into the distance. Chuck didn't let go of Sarah, he held his arms tighter around her and closed his eyes. _I'm holding the most beautiful woman in the world. _He swooned to himself.

He couldn't stop himself, he wasn't thinking, wasn't breathing. It was just that moment, he didn't have to speak, didn't have to breathe or move. Just them. He should have pushed her away and carried on acting normally towards her, but how was a guy like him meant to be friends with a woman as gorgeous as her? It was impossible. Though Casey managed it.

Well, Casey wasn't really friends with anyone, all her needed was his tough physique and steel spy armour and he was all set. He didn't care about romance or love or-.

_Chuck just let go. _He told himself.

Sarah waited for him to pull away. She wondered if Ellie and her other half were still standing there because this was going on the an awfully long time. She could only see the inside of Wienerlicious because her head was fixed permanently in one position.

She couldn't tell herself that this wasn't nice, because it was. She hadn't been held like this in a long time, her stomach started to swirl and suddenly it felt like she was falling - hurtling from the sky into oblivion, she couldn't stop the feeling. She was falling, falling-

All of a sudden it stopped, his arms came away and the twisting sensation in her stomach subsided a little. She looked into his eyes and she was scared, she had no idea what was happening to her. Was she ill or something?

His knowing eyes looked into hers, her eyes were telling him that she was lost and confused. But her unmoving expression told him otherwise. How could one person give off so many different signals? It was like trying to solve a Rubix Cube, every time he thought he was about to get it right, he would find that he had gone wrong somewhere and have to start again.

He hadn't known her long, he knew that, already though, she was messing up his head in ways that he hadn't thought possible. Each time he thought that they could be normal, as soon as their eyes met or their skin brushed, everything would change. He would feel like there was something frazzling in the air between them. But that might have been just him.

Now, like the previous times something like this had happened, it became awkward. They both knew something was happening, it showed in their eyes, but they didn't say anything about it.

"So, umm.." Sarah tried.

"I guess we'll see each other on, on - the mission?" Chuck said, picking up his jacket. "Thanks for reassuring me.. And stuff."

"Ah, it was nothing, any time." She replied, walking back into Wienerlicious.

What in God's name was happening to her? The past few weeks her stomach was constantly churning, her heart was constantly pumping and she always felt nauseas around Chuck. She couldn't understand it, she was never ill, hadn't taken a day off in ages.

She rested her head against the cold glass and let the cool air sweep around her.

Chuck was even more worried about the mission now, but he couldn't worry about that now. He had to go and learn how to tango.

**Review please? (This one was kind of hard to find, there were not many Charah moments between them in this episode) And next, what happened after Sarah said, "My middle name is Lisa.." **

**I found this on Wikipedia, '**_**Although Chuck's back is turned and he was presumably out of earshot when Sarah utters her real middle name, it is revealed that he did indeed hear her, as Sarah's real middle name is written on his elaborate Intersect chart first seen at the end of "Chuck Versus the Lethal Weapon.' **_**I can't wait to write about that. **

**This chapter is to my big sister, who's sixteen today.**


	4. Chuck versus The Wookiee

**Chuck vs. The Wookiee **

Chuck stood outside of Sarah's door, he slowly took a breath and reached for the silver knocker, he softly banged the door. Inside, Sarah wondered who that could be, she got up from her bed and went to the door, anxiously pulling it open.

She was a little shocked to see Chuck standing there with a pizza box in his hands, looking very cute in his brown jumper.

"Hey!" He said, noticing how gorgeous she looked with her golden hair spiralling around her shoulders. He watched her lips curl upwards as he put the bag of napkins down on the little side table.

"Vegetarian, no olives." He said, opening the box to reveal a very tasty looking pizza. "It's the only thing I know about you that's true, you don't like olives.

She smiled as she gazed up at him, she rested her head against the door. "Thank you." She grinned. "Come in." _Oh my God! I can't believe this, he knows I don't like olives. _She almost laughed at how pathetic she sounded. It wasn't as if the CIA were going to reassign her if they found out that Chuck knew she didn't like olives. It was cute how he'd observed her, and how he was keen to know more about her.

She moved out of the way and let him come in.

"I'm sorry about the beach." He said as they walked together. "Your absolutely right, I shouldn't let my feelings affect the mission and uh, if you and Bryce, if you had a, uh, thing. Well that makes sense, he always got the great girls." Chuck said looking up at her. She glanced back at him almost lovingly, but she didn't speak, she waited for him to continue.

"I just wish I knew something real about you, can't you just tell me one true thing?" He pleaded. "Just one, like, where'd you grow up? Or - or if that's too much, I get it, I get it if that's too much. What's your name, your real name?" He babbled as he examined her storytelling eyes, she looked like she wanted to say something, but her lips didn't even part for even a word to come through.

"Or what's your middle name, can't you just tell me your middle name?" He continued as his eyes glistened with hope, but a silence ensued between them and Sarah didn't look as if she was going to say anything. He looked down at the floor and his face showed that he was severely disappointed. "I got to go get the napkins." He said quietly, admitting defeat as he stood up and walked over to where he had put them.

Sarah squeezed her eyes shut. "It's Lisa, my middle name is Lisa."

Chuck thought he heard something, he glanced over at her and narrowed his eyes, did she just answer his question? She looked emotional and her eyes were faraway. He thought he heard her say 'Lisa' but he couldn't be certain.

"What?" He whispered walking back over to her.

She looked up at him, her eyes wide. "Did you hear me?"

"I swear you said something like Lisa."

"I - I, I did." She couldn't meet his eyes.

"Is that your middle name?" He asked gently, settling beside her.

"It might be." She smiled playfully.

"Oh come on, Sar! Don't ruin it, is it true, is that really your middle name?" His eyes filled with a fresh sense of hope.

She couldn't do it, she couldn't crush him, she'd said it now there was now turning back. "Okay, it's true. But it doesn't mean anything!" She said fiercely.

He put his hands up in protest. "Hey, calm down, I didn't say it did." But secretly he was pleased, she had told him something about her, yes it was a minor thing but it wasn't insignificant. He definitely didn't want to push her for any more. Looking at her now, he felt excited, happy and nauseas all at the same time. He didn't know whether he was developing a crush on her or whether it was just the circumstances.

He opened the pizza box and looked expectantly at her. "You want a piece?" He asked.

"Sure." She smiled.

_Sarah Lisa Walker. _Chuck said to himself over and over again, he couldn't believe she had actually told him. He was over the moon, he couldn't stop himself from smiling from ear to ear. He sat further back on the bed and crossed his legs, he slowly put the pizza into his mouth as Sarah did the same. As she chewed, he nearly chocked. She made it look so, so.. Well, _sexy._

He squirmed uncomfortably as she finally finished the slice, but then she licked her fingers and that was even worse.

"Sarah, is it weird, me being here?" Chuck asked.

"What do you mean?" Sarah quizzed.

"Well you know, technically you're my handler and like, right now we're hanging out and we're not working or anything." Chuck babbled, his face growing more worried by the second. "Wait, do they have cameras in here?"

"Chuck, calm down, it's fine. It's not like we're getting it on or anything!" Sarah said defensively. "And no, they don't have cameras here.

"But I don't do this sort of thing with Casey." He said.

"I know, but Casey's not the type of person to do things like that with." She reasoned.

"So does that mean I can tell him about this then, he does get really suspicious."

"No! He'll think something's going on, which it clearly isn't. You're the asset and I'm the handler, that's it."

"I know." Chuck sighed. Maybe he should just accept the truth. He kept wondering if there was a meaning behind the things she said, but maybe he read into it to much. Why was he even thinking about this, she was practically letting him down gently. In her own way she was telling him it was never going to happen. _Let what happen? I don't even have a crush on her! _He argued in his mind, he was driving himself insane.

They finished off almost all of the pizza and laid back on the bed. Sarah felt warm inside again, _maybe the pizza hasn't cooled down yet. _She rubbed her stomach lightly.

"Are you okay?" Chuck asked, noticing her rubbing her stomach.

"I'm fine, just a bit full." But she actually felt strangely empty even though she had consumed half a pizza. Sarah switched on the plasma screen TV that hung above her bed. She was glad that she didn't have to pay for this hotel, being in the CIA had its' perks. She slotted some scary movie into the DVD player, one of which she couldn't remember the name of. She looked at Chuck, who was looking rather sleepy.

"Do you want me to go?" He mumbled sleepily.

"No, no, stay for the movie." She asked, trying to keep her voice normal and not desperate. For some reason she really, really wanted him to stay, she felt like if he were to leave, she would really miss him. They were becoming fast friends, she knew that. Was it really so bad for a lonely spy to have one little friend? Did all spies have to be fierce and strong and independent? She was all of those things, but she also enjoyed Chuck's company.

They laid down together, Chuck on one side of the bed and her on the other. He put his hands behind his head and sighed contentedly. He was sure he had seen this film before, it was either called The Grudge or The Ring or something like that.

There was a teenage girl on the screen, though a teenage girl was rather an understatement. She had black hair that covered half her face, deathly pale skin and red bloodshot eyes. Chuck didn't want to admit it but he was a little scared. The girl drew out a knife and put up her hood to shield her face from the outside rain. With that she disappeared from sight.

Inside the house in the film, an innocent woman and her husband sat peacefully in their living room, watching their TV, the wife wrapped her arm around her partner and held him close. Suddenly all the lights went off for a moment and then flicked back on, the woman looked relived but then the girl appeared-

"Ahhh!" Chuck jumped a million miles upwards.

Sarah paused the film and turned to him with a slight smirk etched onto her face. "Did you just jump?"

He lowered his eyebrows and folder his arms. "Pfft. No, I had an itch.."

"Yeah, yeah, you were scared weren't you?" Sarah laughed.

"Fine, alright. I'm not good with films like this, they make me jump. I know I'm meant to be an man and everything but it still scares me." Chuck admitted.

"It's okay. Look, come a bit closer, I'll make sure you don't jump." Sarah said, as Chuck moved over an inch or two.

"I won't bite." She laughed, surprised at her own forwardness, it wasn't like her at all.

He laid down nearer to her and Sarah pressed play and the film resumed. An hour later, they were still in the same position and the screen darkened and the credits rolled. Chuck had managed a whole hour without jumping again.

He turned to her, he was almost underneath her armpit. She gazed back through the darkness, her eyes shining and lighting up the room. He felt his heart hammering beneath his T-shirt, he sat up so that his head was closer to her.

She studied his eyes and felt a magical jolt shoot up the back of her neck. She couldn't take this, she definitely wasn't ill, this was something to do with Chuck. Suspiciously, she moved closer to him and felt her heart speed up and her stomach filling with butterflies. That was strange.

What if she were to put her lips on his, what would she feel then? She felt as if there was a magnetic force drawing her lips to his, she just couldn't control it. She had never felt like this before, this feeling was new to her.

Suddenly Chuck came back to reality.

"I've got to go." He said awkwardly, shooting upwards.

"See you." She smiled equally as awkward.

"I'll call you about our double date with Ellie and Awesome." She said.

"Alright." He replied, racing out the door.

He didn't stop until he got to his car. He couldn't run away from the emotions that overtook him. Okay, he admitted it, he 'liked' her, but that didn't mean anything. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep tonight with this revelation, with a sigh he put his key In the ignition and drove into the night.

When he got into his bedroom he got his Traun poster down and turned it around to reveal the names of all the spies he had come to know and all the other people he had met along the way. Above Sarah's name he drew an arrow and writ 'Lisa' between her first and last name. He was so happy that she had told him, even if he wasn't meant to hear. He wondered what Sarah was thinking right now.

Sarah laid back on her bed with her blood pumping warmly around her body. She wanted to escape into dreamland, where hopefully these feelings wouldn't follow her.

**I accept anonymous reviews also so please review everyone! **


	5. Chuck versus The Sizzling Shrimp

**Chuck versus The Sizzling Shrimp**

**(Chuck and Ellie's mother's day)**

Chuck sat down on the sofa, with Sarah at his side, he felt invincible. Across from him were Morgan and Ellie, he was rather surprised that she had invited Sarah and Morgan. Ellie had said Sarah was his new best gal now. She wasn't jealous was she?

It felt like he was in an alternate universe, because Ellie and Morgan were actually getting along, they were laughing and smiling. Ellie's eyes were innocent, but Morgan's were full of love. Chuck remembered back to when he had introduced him to Ellie and how a five-year-old Morgan looked as he did now. Chuck thought that maybe over the years he might get over it, but he showed no signs of getting over his feelings.

The two stood up and said they were going to fetch drinks from the kitchen.

"Chuck!" Sarah whispered harshly.

"-Yeah?" He turned to her with a giant bowl of pasta on his lap, he had managed to get most of it around his mouth.

"Firstly." Sarah said. "You have a little, uh, sauce around your mouth."

"Oh." Chuck blushed. He put his finger in his mouth, licked it and then rubbed the corners. He only got a little bit of it though. "Is it gone?"

"No!" She replied. "Come here."

He hesitated for a second before moving slightly closer to her. She took his hand as he let it go limp, she showed him where the mess was and held his palm as he rubbed it away. It was such a strange but intimate situation.

"There." Sarah whispered, her hand lingering on his longer than necessary. "Now what I really wanted to talk to you about.." She paused. "Uh, look, Ellie was staring at us weirdly, and I know why."

"Ah, so it wasn't just me. So why was she staring at us 'weirdly'?" Chuck asked.

"Normal couples don't sit on opposite ends of the sofa, Chuck. I mean, we've been 'dating' for almost three months now and we act like we're repulsed by each other. And I'm not at all repulsed by you."

"Your not?" He sexily raised an eyebrow.

"Of course not." Sarah hid her face behind her hands. "Now, we need to look more like a couple."

"Fine by me." He said quietly. Sarah didn't respond. She glanced through to the kitchen where Ellie and Morgan were pouring drinks. She made a face which said 'hurry up', Chuck responded by hurriedly pulling her on top of him. He lay in an awkward angle, his legs were stretched out in front of him on the chair and Sarah was lying on top with her head on his chest.

"Um, Chuck, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind." Sarah said gently.

"Oh no, of course not." He said, embarrassed.

"We have to look comfortable, just be natural." She said, as if she were explaining it to a small child.

"Okay." He sat up and went back to his previous sitting position.

Sarah edged closer to him so that she was merely a few inches away. She felt her skin tingle slightly as he put his arm around her waist. Slowly, she moved her head down and rested it on his chest. She felt Chuck rest his back against the chair and she put her feet up. This was natural, she felt totally at ease.

They sat in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Sarah could hear Chuck's heart pounding, she couldn't hear herself think anymore. She could barely let a breath escape from her throat. She was fighting the urge to wrap her arms around him, she wanted to hold him tight and she didn't know why. She wanted to make his heart beat faster so that it was in time with her own.

Ellie and Morgan showed no signs of returning as they were deep in conversation with one another about old times. Presumably when Ellie was in tenth grade.

_Any second now they're going to come in and I'm going to feel like my old self again. _Chuck told himself firmly. He didn't bother telling himself anymore that he didn't have a crush on Sarah, because he did. How could he not, he loved the way she did everything. The way her face would screw up when she was angry, the way her hair would swish when she ran. But he wasn't in _love _with her.

He knew this would happen, no matter how much he tried to stop it. The situation they were in didn't help either, with them acting all 'coupley'. He felt like it was real, he wanted it to be real. Every time he saw her now, he had to stop himself from thinking about what it would be like if they were a real couple, because they would never be. All he was letting himself in for was a whole lot of hurt, he had to let go before his feelings developed into something deeper.

This wasn't helping, she was laying on his chest. He could feel his heart beating, he wanted to stay like this forever. _Please, please don't do this to yourself again. You can't let it. She has no interest in you whatsoever, she probably hates you and thinks your some lanky, nervous geek with no life except for playing Call Of Duty in your bedroom with Morgan. _

Finally Ellie and Morgan re-entered the room, Morgan looking redder and hotter than before. The half glass of champagne in his hand indicated why.

"Yo." Morgan said, sitting down on the sofa, swishing his drink around nonchalantly.

Ellie nudged Morgan playfully when she noticed Chuck and Sarah's new sitting position.

"What did you do when we left the room?" Morgan asked, lifting both eyebrows up and down.

"Morgan, you do know you can see exactly what we're doing from the kitchen, you know. These rooms are attached."

"Well excuse me for actually being busy and forgetting to notice."

"You're excuse." Chuck said cheekily. They cracked up laughing, Ellie poured them all some more wine and Chuck downed his in record time. Soon, the bottle was empty. Morgan eyed it with interest, he had an idea.

"Let's play spin the bottle." He slurred, the others nodded as the majority of them were tipsy, even Sarah. She couldn't refuse a drink, she didn't want to stand out. This was for the cover, besides, she had played spin the bottle in high school, it wasn't that bad a game.

"Morgan, it's for kids and teenagers, not adults." Chuck said, folding his arms.

"Adults play it all the time." Ellie corrected.

"Fine." Chuck said. "But I'm not doing anything I don't want to do."

"Okay." Morgan shrugged. "Girls, are you in?"

"Sure." They said in unison. Chuck looked down at Sarah who was looking rather queasy.

"Are you okay?" He asked, concerned.

"I'm okay." She whispered, her blue eyes boring into his. They both felt an intense rush shudder through them as her head pulled away from his chest. Sarah felt her temperature rise as a million goosebumps erupted all over her body. They both sat up and watched anxiously as Morgan span the bottle round.

The bottle span around for what seemed like an eternity, taunting each person it pointed at. Finally, after a few moments of making it's decision, it landed on Ellie. The other side pointed to Sarah, which meant Sarah had to dare Ellie to do something.

Sarah smiled for a moment, looking thoughtful. "Hug Morgan for a whole minute."

"You what?" Ellie gasped before leaning over to Sarah and whisperer in her ear, "look, I know we get along and everything now, but.. I can't hug him, it's too.. Too.. Weird."

"Come on Ellie, you really don't want to do the forfeit." Sarah teased.

"And what's that?" She wondered aloud.

"Lick Morgan's beard." Sarah whispered as everyone gasped.

"You wouldn't!" Ellie narrowed her eyes. "Fine, fine, I'll hug you." She said, defeated as Morgan cheered. Ellie towered over Morgan as she defiantly wrapped her arms around him. He smelt of stale Doritos and uncleanliness. Sarah counted in her head as Ellie squirmed and wriggled uncomfortably.

"Minutes up." Sarah said.

"Oh thank God." Ellie breathed, releasing the little rat from her grip. Morgan smiled and nodded like he was the hottest guy on earth. He arrogantly lifted his hand and span the bottle. "Until we meet again, Eleanor." He curtsied. Okay, Ellie hated him when he was drunk.

The bottle selected it's second victim. Chuck. And Morgan was the one to dare him.

"I dare you to kiss Sarah." Morgan grinned.

Chuck was a little startled. "Why would you dare me? I do it all the time! That's not a challenge!" He babbled nervously.

"Well I've never seen you." He said. "That or you can lick my beard."

Sarah looked at Chuck and nodded,, _it's okay, _her eyes were telling him. _We have no choice. _He nodded at everyone and took and breath, he had to make this look natural. Hang on. Wait. He was about to kiss Sarah.

The person he couldn't stop thinking about, the woman of his dreams-

A crash invaded Chuck's thoughts, a wine glass had fallen on the floor along with a passed out Morgan. Ellie began to laugh and Chuck sighed in what he thought may have been relief, though he couldn't be sure. Sarah felt weird, a sinking feeling had appeared in her stomach. She wasn't disappointed was she?

**Sarah's Hotel Room 1.00am**

Sarah only ever did this as a last resort, but she couldn't take it anymore. She dove into her suitcase and pulled out her diary, she guiltily poised her pen over the paper before indulgently letting herself write.

_Dear Diary,_

_I know I haven't written in a while, I only ever write in here when I have no options left. When I'm feeling out of control, I have to write it all down in here before I explode, and then I'll feel better and my emotions will get back on track._

_I know I'm a spy. I'm not meant to have emotions, to have these feelings and I want them to go away. It's just like Dad always said to me, your feelings only get you hurt. But sometimes I can't help but doubt this fact, I mean, it's what makes you human, isn't it? I am still a person. Writing in this diary isn't going to hurt anyone, it's my guilty pleasure and I'm making sure no one will ever get to read it._

_Lately I've been feeling.. well.. Okay, let me start again. Chuck. That one word that makes my heart flutter, and I know it shouldn't. It's just that ever since I've met him, I feel like a different person, like I can be me again. My heart beats faster when I see him, my face flushes, I get butterflies, these are all the signs that I like him._

_But I can't! Oh but I can't. I know I feel something, I've tried training myself to be an emotionless robot, while on the outside I am, but on the inside I still feel all of these things, sometimes I push them away to the back of my mind, but they always come back to haunt me. It's like I'm wearing a mask. And sometimes, I want to take it off, but I can't._

_It's just, I love his smile, I love the way he gets all nervous and makes me laugh. I love the way his hair is wild and unruly and I love how his eyes tell me everything. But what confuses me most about him is that he actually cares about me even though I'm just his handler. He puts me before himself, and that makes me like him even more._

_I'm not sure what I'm feeling. Maybe I'm just mixed up. But now I know I'm certainly not ill and I know aspirin won't fix this._

Then, Sarah closed her diary and locked it away. Hopefully it would take her emotions with it.

_**Review please? **_

_Anonymous reviews accepted. _


	6. Chuck versus The Sandworm

**Chuck versus The Sandworm**

Chuck raced in through the door in his work uniform, he was looking rather hot and flustered. He noticed Ellie and Awesome snuggled up on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn and he felt a pang of jealousy.

"Hi." He babbled. "Is Sarah here?"

"She waiting in your room." Awesome informed him.

"Is everything okay?" Ellie asked as she eyed Chuck anxiously.

"She said she had a surprise for you." Awesome continued as Chuck almost sprinted out of the room. "Get in there slugger."

Chuck came into his bedroom to find Sarah standing before him. "Who is this Laszlo character? He just ID'd me-"

"Relax, we're going to get to him, you did the right thing." Sarah said softly.

"I didn't do anything, I just flashed on the guy." Chuck argued.

"You followed protocol and I'm going to check in with you first thing in the morning." Sarah said calmly as she began to make her exit.

"Wait, wait!" Chuck shouted as Sarah span around. "Look.." He said awkwardly, "If it's okay with you would you mind hanging out here for a while?"

Sarah gazed at him questioningly.

"Awesome and Ellie think I'm getting lucky in here right now and I wouldn't want to disappoint - them." Chuck looked at the floor.

"Oh, uh, how long do you want me to stay?" She asked equally as awkwardly, barely able to get her words out.

"Forty-two minutes and fifteen seconds." He blurted. As Sarah looked mildly amused. "Arcade Fire's first album it's like an auditory aphrodisiac - your not really ready for it yet, I'll put it on." Chuck said, turning on his ipod as music started swirling around the room.

They sat on the bed shoulder to shoulder in silence. Chuck was desperately trying to think of something to say, _come on Chuck, anything_! Finally an eureka thought struck him.

"Why were you waiting for me in my room, anyway?" He asked.

Sarah thought for a moment. "Well, I wanted to uh, surprise you.." She said, picking up a picture from his bedside table. "It's us at Comic Con." She handed it to him. "What do you think?"

He looked down at the two significant figures in front of him, they looked so happy, Sarah looked breathtaking in her two piece costume and he looked happier than ever, but then as he studied it more, he looked fake and so did she.

"But we've never actually been to Comic Con, have we? Wow, we actually look like a real couple." He admitted.

"We are a real couple." Sarah lied. "Just a different sort of a couple."

"That we are." He said quietly. "Sarah do you think we're-"

"Think we're what?" Sarah willed him to continue.

"Getting too close? I mean you could leave at any moment." Chuck said quietly.

Sarah felt a little stung. She didn't get close to anyone, she didn't need anyone.. Did she? "No of course not, and I don't think I'm going anywhere for a while."

He lay down on the furthest side of the bed and hugged a pillow close to his chest. Sarah wished she could be that pillow, but she didn't know why. She lay back next to him and propped herself up onto one elbow and let out a deep sigh.

"I'm beginning to see the person you are, Sarah." Chuck admitted. "And I like her."

"You shouldn't be seeing that side to me." Sarah whispered.

"What? Why?" He asked.

She glanced at where she thought the camera was and anxiously thought of Casey, sitting the other side of the lens watching in anticipated amusement. She pushed it out from her mind and just wanted to be Sarah for once, she wouldn't reveal anything, she just would prove that she was human enough to have a conversation other than something involving work.

"Spy's aren't meant to show emotion." She replied.

"But, you are human being, you can't hide everything. Don't you want to enjoy yourself for once, Sarah? Let someone know who you are? Show the world your not an emotionless robot?" Chuck turned to her, her eyes full of emotion.

"Yes, yes and yes." Sarah said. "But I can't not in this line of work. You can't let people get too close to you Chuck, you never know when your going to have to leave someone or kill them. That's why I can't let people in." Her eyes shone and reflected his, she wanted everything to come flowing out of her, but she couldn't. And he had to know why.

"Knock knock, I want you to let me in." He came closer to her.

"I can't." She couldn't hide the emotion in her voice.

"Just tell me something." He smiled. "Just one thing."

"I told you my middle name didn't I?"

"We need to move on from that. Come on, I'm helping you on your journey to becoming a real person." He said.

_I am a real person! _She wanted to scream. _But I can't show you that side of me, haven't I just explained this? _

"I can't do this right now, Chuck. Your just my asset and I'm your handler, we don't need to get the wires crossed and start sharing information. We just hang out sometimes, I suppose it helps with us getting along at work, but you get too stressed at these things." She had to say it, even though it wasn't true and it was going to hurt him.

"I don't." He sulked. "But your more than just a handler to me." _Shut up! Don't do this to yourself, shut up, shut up, shut up! _

"What do you mean?" She leant closer to him.

"You're my uh, friend." He whispered.

"We're friends?" Sarah queried, with her eyes wide and her cheeks gently rising.

"Yes!" He said, amazed at how big a deal this was to her. He couldn't help smiling back, he wanted to kiss her right there and then, but he couldn't not after all she had just said. She wasn't going to let him in, not easily, he could have to chip away until he was left with the person that she was. It was going to take a lot of work. Let the battle commence.

She edged closer to him, desperately wanting to wrap her arms around him. She felt a surge of something shoot through her and as she gazed up at him, she finally acknowledged how good looking he was. He wasn't an obviously right-in-your-face sexy man like Bryce, but he was a more discreet and nerdy sort of sexy, but definitely sexy nonetheless.

She loved his personality too and the way he wasn't afraid to let her in, the total opposite of her. But she had to get away before it got too much for her, she desperately needed her diary. But she still had about twenty minutes left to go until the CD finished.

"What if they're expecting to hear noises or something?" Chuck said out of the blue. "I mean they're meant to think we're having sex."

"Chuck!" Sarah said, clearly disgusted. And then she cracked up laughing. "Your so random."

"But it's true! Ellie probably thinks you've been hired to be my girlfriend or something, she wouldn't ever believe I could get someone like you." He admitted.

"Like _me?" _Sarah asked. And when he didn't answer she thought for a moment. "OOOOOOHH!" She shouted.

Chuck looked at her in confusion, but then finally it clicked. "Sarah!" He hissed, half grinning.

"What? You were concerned that we weren't believable enough!" She said defensively.

" Fair enough." He said. "OH GOD SARAH!" He moaned loudly as they both looked at each other and started to giggle hysterically. "GIVE IT TO ME BABY! LIGHT MY FIRE!" He screamed.

"OOOH!" Sarah could barely contain her laughter, she rolled onto the floor and couldn't catch her breath. About fifteen minutes later she wiped away her tears of laughter. The music ended abruptly.

"I guess it's time to go." She smiled.

"Oh. Wait you don't looked dishevelled enough. Come here."

Obediently, Sarah came to him and he ruffled her hair until it was messy. "There!" He said admiring her. She smiled back at him.

"Well uh, bye." She said awkwardly. She walked away from him but then he pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. Her heart stopped, she felt light headed, she went weak at the knees. She pulled away.

"Friends hug!" Chuck shrugged as she walked out.

Walking into the living room, Sarah eyed Ellie and Awesome nervously, they looked at her in amusement.

"How was the 'surprise'?" Awesome asked.

"It was amazing, he loved it." Sarah smiled knowingly. Ellie and Awesome looked at each other, and giggled as she walked out of the door.

_It's getting worse. _Sarah wrote. _I don't know what to do. I can't be falling for him, I just can't! Okay I admit I like him. Crap, I just admitted it. What the hell am I doing? Well, It's not like he'll ever know, it's just, I can't help it, he's like a magnet, he draws me to him._

_I've never felt like this before, not even about Bryce. I have to stop it now! I have to!_

_Earlier, we laughed so hard. It was barely an hour I was in his room but yet it felt like forever, we were chatting like old friends. Yet I don't think old friends feel weak at the knees for one another, do they? I guess not._

_God, I hope no one ever reads this diary. _

_Anyway, I finally admit it to myself and I'll never admit it to anyone else. I like Chuck Bartowski. _

**Review! (: **


	7. Chuck versus The Truth

I've decided to skip Chuck versus The Alma Mater . I didn't really see any Charah moments in there, so I'm not doing it. It's not something I'm going to do a lot but I'm looking forward to writing about the kiss in the next episode but for now..

**Chuck versus The Truth**

_Sarah had to push him out of her mind. She had lied to him, even with truth serum. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs ,"yes, Chuck, I like you." But she forced herself to do the opposite, everything in her body told her not to do it, not to hurt him, but she had no choice._

_At least she knew he liked her now but, actually, the feeling was mutual. She hated the way his eyes glistened with sadness when she told him that there was nothing underneath the undercover thing. Some part of her wanted him to see through her lies and see how desperate she was to let him know. Part of her should have been proud of herself because she fought the urge to give into him, but she felt guilty and ashamed._

_Sighing, she swirled the dishcloth around the table and made her arm work in concentric circles. She tried to focus her mind on something else and just focus on work. Though, cleaning a table wasn't the best antidote to a guilty conscience. _

_Then the door swung open and who else but Chuck walked in. He looked flustered and on edge. _

_Before she could even open her mouth, Chuck had already started talking. "Sarah, you know when you think your going to die? And your whole life is supposed to flash in front of you?"_

_Sarah nodded and kept her face calm. Where on earth was he going with this?_

"_Well that didn't exactly happen for me yesterday, mostly, it was just a list, that I saw, a list that I haven't done and things that I haven't had a chance to say. And today, I want to start crossing things off of my list." _

_He paused and looked and Sarah meaningfully. She felt her heart thumping beneath her chest, her skin prickled with hope and anticipation. She gazed into his eyes and finally hoped that he would actually kiss her, how she longed to feel his lips of hers. That's it, she was going to do it, she would let temptation win for once._

"_This is the first thing I promised myself that I would do." He said softly as he moved closer to her. He watched her face, it was still but totally focused on what he was saying. Her eyes told him everything he needed to know. Was she wondering what was going on, was she thinking he was going to kiss her? Was she already planning how to push him away and let him down gently?_

_No, I'm not going to put myself through that humiliation. _Chuck told himself firmly. He had to do this, no matter how much he didn't want to and how much he thought over it in his mind. She didn't want him the way he wanted her, so he should just stop and see things for what they really were. It was all a lie on her part, no matter how much he hoped the feeling was mutual, it wasn't.

He took a breath. "We need to break up."

_What? NO! _She thought angrily, _you can't do this to me. Our cover is the only thing that keeps me going, you can't just drop me. I want to be with you - it's just that I can't. But I live for the moments when you touch my hand and butterflies swirl in my stomach, when I rest my head on your chest and I feel like the world around me has stopped and I finally feel at peace. _

She tried to keep herself calm and composed, but couldn't stop herself from reacting. "What?" She said sharply, desperately trying to push all the emotion out of her voice.

"You know, like fake break up our pretend relationship." He said as Sarah swore someone was plunging a knife into her heart. "You know, the longer we go, the longer we keep trying to fool people that we're a real couple-" Sarah looked down at the floor sadly. "But the person I keep on fooling the most, is me."

And that was the last thing he said. She watched him leave. In that whole conversation, was the only word she could utter 'what'? Why didn't she say something? No, Sarah your not going to cry. She felt a lump rise in her throat and she forcefully fort to push it back downwards. Suddenly, her phone rang, startling her back to reality, it was Casey.

"Yeah?" She said, clutching the phone to her ear.

"I meant to ask you," Casey grunted down the phone. "When you were infected, did you do anything to compromise yourself? "

Lie Sarah, lie. "Uh.. No. But if I hadn't been trained to withstand Pentothal I might have." She cut off the call and went to cool down outside. She found herself staring over at Lou's place, the bitch. Fair enough, she was nice and everything, but she was a man stealing whore. Maybe Chuck wouldn't make a move on Lou, maybe he just broke up with her because he had had enough?

_No! Tell me that isn't him over there already! _She saw a tall, dark haired figure walk into the sandwich shop and approach Lou. It definitely was Chuck, Lou sat opposite him and they started talking and laughing as Sarah watched in awe.

She clenched her fists and she felt her eyes beginning to water. She turned and walked inside the shop hurriedly, she locked the shop door and hunched up behind the counter. She would only let herself cry once, and that would be it. It would be the end of wanting to be with Chuck, she wouldn't waste her time pining over someone in her own privacy when there was absolutely no point whatsoever.

She stopped holding it in and she let it all tumble out at once. Tears were hurriedly escaping from her eyes and she let herself howl softly. It hurt so much, seeing him with her. What did Lou have that she didn't? Well for one, he probably knew more about Lou than he knew about Sarah after only knowing her for like, what? Two days?

She tried to place herself in Chuck's shoes, to be the one who was so open and honest and Chuck was the one who was sad, lonely and private. How would she feel? She would feel humiliated for putting herself out there and she would want to get away and to prove that someone else could love her, and that she wasn't a sad person like him. She could have a real relationship.

Great, now she felt worse. She felt bad for the things he had to go through, she also admired his bravery for saying those things to her just before she took the antidote. And then she had crushed him, seeing a grown man almost cry was the worst feeling in the world to her and now as she cried on the floor, she was paying for her foolish mistake.

_Pull yourself together. _Her more serious side demanded. But then her other side fought back. _What would be the point? _Still though, she yanked herself up from the floor, wiped her eyes and changed the store's sign back to open. She felt better now, she opened the door and let the cool air sweep over her and into her sore eyes.

Sarah made the mistake of looking back over at him. At _them. _Lou had made her way back to the counter and looked as if she was pouring them both another drink. Chuck stared out of the window, his expression blank but his eyes clear. A magnetic force pulled his eyes to Wienerlicious and curiosity got the better of him, before he could stop himself, he felt his eyes being drawn to a slouching figure.

He locked eyes with Sarah. He was shocked by her appearance, her face was pale but blackened with splodges of mascara and her eyes were red and raw, it looked almost, _almost, _as if she had been crying. But surely not, if he meant nothing to her. But maybe he did. Or she just had a spot of hay fever or she had got something in her eye. He stared long and hard at her, the hurt evident in her eyes. The longing, the regret all pouring out in one swift glance.

"Are you okay?" He mouthed through the glass. Sarah squinted as she read his lips.

Nodding, she stole one last glance and walked back into the shop.

_One day, when I'm brave enough, I'm going to kiss that man if it kills me. _She thought wistfully.

A few hours later, Chuck left Lou's and got into his Nerd Herder, he needed to get away, to think. He put his keys in the ignition and sped off into the night.

He found himself at the beach, he sat on the sand like he had done only a few months previously, where his only worry was becoming the intersect. Now he had feelings for Sarah but she couldn't return them and he was happy that Lou was genuine, but she wasn't Sarah.

_**Happy birthday, Dad. And I'm going to be 15 in 6 months time today, yay! Please review everyone who reads, thanks!**_


	8. Chuck versus The Imported Hard Salami

_I'm going to do two moments from this episode. When they were in the car boot and when they first kissed! YAY! I'm so excited to write this right now.._

_**Chuck versus The Imported Hard Salami**_

_**(**__The car boot scene)_

It was dark and neither of them could breathe. Chuck was pressed up right against Sarah, he didn't have time to savour the moment, he had to stand up for himself.

"Why did you come in? I had the entire situation under control." He said, not even fooling himself.

"Yeah, I could see that." Sarah replied sarcastically.

"So.. I assume you have a plan to get us out of this mess.." Chuck said angrily, but secretly hoping for the best.

"Right now Casey is tracking the GPS device in your watch, a SWAT team will be here any minute." She said, her voice calm and professional.

"Yeah.. About the watch.." He felt scared of her reaction now. He explained the situation slowly and tried to pull away from her as much as he could.

"..Lou was incriminating herself and I didn't want her getting into trouble." He said.

"Always the romantic, huh, Chuck?" She was close to his face, she ignored the convulsions shooting through her, surely she was still capable enough to win a damn argument?

"Jealous?" He shot back venomously.

"Do you really think the CIA is interested in a deli meat smuggler?" She was getting angrier now.

"Well, excuse me if I'm not Mr Perfect spy. We can't all be Bryce Larkin, now can we?"

_Wait, what? _"Who's jealous now?" Clearly it was her.

"_Me? _Jealous of you and Bryce? Never!" He protested dramatically.

"Said all you wanted to say?" She asked.

"More or less." He almost shrugged.

"Good, now shut up, your sucking up all the air!" She said harshly and turned around so that Chuck was pressed up against her back. She was too angry to appreciate how close they were, and how now she had an opportunity to say anything that she'd ever wanted to say, but of course she couldn't. She wondered if Chuck was scared, or if he was ever the optimistic and knew a way to get them out of this.

She was the super spy though, she couldn't get all emotional and womanlike, if she did she wouldn't be in a fit state for saving them both when they got there.

The air capacity was low, it was dark and Chuck couldn't even see his own had in front of him. Not that he could even lift his hand because he was so squished. He felt scared about what was going to happen to him, he prayed that Sarah could get them out of this, even though he was mad at her right now.

After what seemed like an eternity had passed, Chuck and Sarah had calmed down a bit. The car had stopped turning so it seemed like they were on a long, straight road. Chuck desperately needed to stretch, his legs were bent awkwardly and he was _dying_ to move them. He had pins and needles all over, he hoped that he wouldn't need to go to the toilet at any point. As he felt his anger beginning to subside, he was left alone with just his thoughts.

He could see where Sarah was coming from, why she was angry at him. It seemed like he and Lou were over for good now, which was a shame because he had liked her. But now, Lou seemed a million miles away mentally, and probably literally too.

Suddenly, he was overcome with a deep want for Sarah. The woman who was lying next to him right now. He wanted to put his arms around her and kiss her and show her how sorry he was. He just wanted her, he didn't care what the consequences were.

"Chuck?" Sarah whispered.

_Oh thank you, God. "_Yeah?" He replied softly.

"I'm, uh, really sorry.. I didn't mean it." She turned back around so that they were nose to nose, she could feel his warm breath on her cheek and he began to speak.

"Don't be sorry, it's my fault. It's just when I like someone I get all crazy and overreact at everything." _Crap, she probably took that the wrong way._

"Oh.." Sarah said softly. _You like me?_

"I mean you know, I liked Lou and I overreacted by putting my watch in something and messing everything up." _That should clear things up. _Chuck thought lightly.

_Of course! He was talking about Lou_. "Don't worry about it." She whispered, gazing deeply into his eyes, feeling herself tingle all over. He reached his hand up to her hair and stroked it, but then he registered the shock on her face through the darkness and lowered it back down.

She reached back down to his hand, held it and moved her thumb back and fourth so that she was stroking his palm. She didn't care what she was doing, all she was going to do was think about now. Think about Chuck, the man who she liked. Maybe some part of her even loved him a little. But she wasn't falling in love with him. Of course she wasn't, Sarah Walker didn't fall in love.

Part of her knew that she had let her guard down and let Chuck in completely, to see almost the real Sarah. And it felt good that someone knew her for what she really was, who she really was. She felt safe. And now she was holding hands with him, probably giving him the wrong idea, but she couldn't stop herself. It was almost inevitable that this was going to happen.

He edged closer to her and pulled his arm away from hers and put it on her waist instead and pulled her close. He had never felt so much for one person, never felt so many emotions at once. He felt love, lust, happiness, sadness and strangely, jealousy.

He didn't want to think about where this was going, all he knew was, he loved the feeling with her pressed up against his chest. He didn't want her to pull away. He wanted to stay like this forever.

"-For the cover.." Sarah mumbled with her head buried in his chest. "..Cold in here.. Needed to get warm." Chuck could hear her making excuses for doing this, but he didn't care. He had no idea whether they were going to die or not, so he just made the most of every moment.

Then, the car came to a halt and they sprang apart as the boot opened, and waited to greet their fate.

(_The first kiss) (Yay)_

"Help me out!" She panted, throwing him a metal crowbar. They sprinted towards the giant wooden box and fiddled with the sides of it. It fell open, crashing to the floor.

It revealed a long metal tank with digits on it. It looked like a bomb. They gazed at it for a moment, bewildered, then suddenly Sarah ran towards it.

"Okay, okay, intersect, flash! Show me how to do this!" Chuck pleaded with the computer embedded in his brain.

"Did you flash?" Sarah said, turning away from the bomb.

"No! Nothing!" He replied frantically. "Come on, come on baby, don't fail me now!" He clutched his head in desperation.

"Chuck, that's enough, run, I'm going to try and diffuse this." Sarah said dominantly. She would rather die a million times over than let Chuck stay here.

"No, I'm not leaving you here!" He argued as her heart dropped.

"Go! And that is an order." _Do anything, Sarah, just make him leave, you can't let him get hurt._

"No!" He narrowed his eyes.

Sarah had no other choice, she stood up and pulled out her gun, with absolutely no intention of firing it. But she could certainly threaten him.

"Go!" She shouted.

"Oh, I see. So your going to shoot me to prevent me from blowing up? That's a great plan."

"Why are you so stubborn?" She just wanted him to go, _just.. Please_.

"Actually, I consider this a rare moment of courage, I don't know where it's coming from, I guess you just bring out the worst in me." Suddenly, they could die but they were spending their last moments fighting.

"And you in me." She said fiercely, boldly taking a step towards him. She looked into his eyes, terrified. They should have ran, it was too late now. The machine started beeping, the screen showing 10 seconds, 9..8,7..

"Well it was nice knowing ya." He said, his voice quivering slightly. 6..5...

_4,3.. _Chuck closed his eyes tight, but not even that could shield him from death. He sucked in a breath, _I'm going to die, I'm going to die.._

Sarah wasn't ready to die without crossing something off of her list. She grabbed the sides of his face and pressed her lips on his hurriedly. She let desire overcome her, everything she had wanted for the past few months swiftly crammed into one kiss.

He felt her lips on his, and couldn't quite believe it. Sarah was kissing him, it was hard and passionate and everything he had _ever _wanted. He wasn't going to let this opportunity slip, he gripped hold of her face pulled her closer, he felt her tongue slip into his mouth, warm, soft and overpowering. She held him tighter as he moved his hands to the small of her back.

She didn't want this to end. Suddenly he was like part of her, evolving from two people to one. She wasn't Sarah anymore, she wasn't whole person by herself, but when she was with Chuck the two half's fitted together perfectly. They were Charah. She held onto him for dear life, too afraid to let go. She didn't want to let go, she didn't want to face the consequences.

Chuck realised that they were alive. It wasn't a bomb at all, it was something else. He slowly pulled away from her and gazed deeply into her eyes, slowly pulling his lips away from hers. They were still holding onto one another, Sarah looked terrified.

Pulling away from each other, they glanced over at the 'bomb', the digits had gone all the way down to zero and nothing else had happened. Sarah needn't have kissed him so passionately and forcefully, she thought they were going to die and this was her last chance to do everything she wanted, including kissing Chuck. But now she would have to face the aftermath. This is why she often didn't give in to her temptations, it was excellent while she was doing the forbidden, it felt wonderful to give into temptation, but then afterwards she felt really bad and knew she would face guilty thoughts and regretful thinking for the rest of her days.

Why had she been so stupid? Yes, okay, she wanted Chuck, but it didn't mean she could have him.

The silence stretched between them. "Well the good news is, we're alive." Sarah smiled falsely. "And the bad news is, is that this is kind of an uncomfortable moment right now.." She trailed off awkwardly.

"It's completely comfortable of my end, just saying." Chuck said, as she looked into his eyes and her guilty feelings vanished, everything vanished, it was just her and him, together and no one else knew they were there. Yes, she was nuts, crazy, deluded even, but she was living for once.

Chuck felt woozy, he had to sit down, he took a step back and sat down on the cold, concrete floor. He soothed his aching head with the palm of his hand. He groaned slightly, feeling the impact of the past five minutes, he still felt the terror of dying, he still felt Sarah's lips on his. Somehow, he feared worst what would happen next more than dying. He didn't know why but he did.

Sarah finally came back to reality after the past few minutes of disappearing into oblivion, a blissful, wonderful oblivion. She was surprised that stars didn't start whizzing around them and the heavens opening and God himself singing the words halleluiah when they kissed. But now she was here again, in this dark, abandoned warehouse.

Then though, she glanced downwards and saw Chuck and her world became completely dishevelled again. She noticed him sitting on the floor and slowly moved downwards so that she was sitting beside him, neither spoke for a few minutes.

"Are you okay, Chuck?" Sarah whispered softly.

"If I'm honest, my head's a bit messed up. I mean.. you know.. It shocked me a bit, you kissing me." He admitted.

"You and me both, I didn't know it was coming. I thought we were going to die and.." She couldn't find anymore words. She tried explaining with her hands but she got more frustrated.

"I know, sort of heat of the moment thing, yeah?" He tried, he didn't understand why she was trying to justify it. She had kissed him and that was that. He'd never experienced anything so passionate and heated, he'd never felt the emotions that hit him when her lips met his. Sparks literally flew between them as they danced off into their own world, but now he was lost and confused and didn't know where they went from here.

_Did she kiss me, because she likes me? Or did she just kiss me because mine were the most convenient lips around? I'll have to ask her someday when this awkward faze passes. _Chuck thought to himself.

Sarah finally got the courage to look up at him, and suddenly she felt a new bout of emotions. She could feel the static in the air between them, there was a rush.. This time.. Not the same rush. She had an intense urge to throw him up against the wall and kiss him. Why the hell did she want to rip his clothes off?

His eyes knowingly looked down into hers and the emotions reflected one another. They both felt lost and confused. But one thing Sarah was certain was, she wasn't going to let this happen again. She wouldn't surrender herself to it, she was stronger than this.

"We'd better go.." She managed to choke out.

"Yeah." He mumbled. "I feel a bit woozy, could you help me up please?"

"Sure." She shrugged, pulling herself to her feet and holding both hands out to him. Impulsively, he wrapped his finger around hers and let her pull him up. When they were both on their feet, merely inches away from each other, they found that they couldn't leave. They didn't drop their hands, they stood staring at one another, bewildered by the feelings overtaking them.

"Sarah, I-" Chuck started, before being startled by her arms around him and pulling him down to her level. Before he knew it, her lips were on his again and it was better than before. Less frantic because they weren't about to die, but more passionate and tender. She pushed him up against the wall and ran her fingers through his hair, enjoying the feeling of his hands on her waist.

She then pulled away and mumbled that she was leaving. She ran out and disappeared from sight. Most probably to gather her scattered thoughts, Chuck assumed. She had just kissed him again, but he couldn't even see the image of her face in his head when she had come towards him to kiss him again, because his eyes had been closed.

He knew that she wouldn't kiss him again, she gave into temptation twice and now she would turn back into super spy Sarah. He wondered if Sarah was thinking everything that he was, did she feel the same? The passion in her kiss was enough to show him that she did, but nothing she did otherwise showed him that she was interested. Maybe she looked at everyone like that?

He knew something for certain though, he had to go and talk to Lou.

_Dear Diary,_

_I kissed him. I kissed Chuck. Twice. Why? Because I couldn't handle myself anymore, he drives me insane, he makes me do things I've never done before. When I'm with him I feel like I love him, of course I don't but I enjoy the feeling of being with him._

_I won't kiss him again, I hope he's not hoping for something more, because as much as I'd love to, in my line of work, I can't. I want to grab him and push him up against the wall and tare his clothes off of his body._

_I didn't feel like that before, after that kiss.. Those kisses, I feel like I want something more now. I shouldn't have kissed him. Because not only have my feelings for him have deepened, but we have created a sexual tension, which I'm scared I won't be able to work around now._

_What have I done? Great, and now I have to go see what's in that stupid tank thing._

_**Uh oh, Bryce is on his way, no matter how much I hate him. REVIEW please? Let me know how you feel, is my perception on their relationship not very good? Because I really don't have much experience in this area.**_


	9. Chuck versus The Nemesis

**Chuck versus The Nemesis**

_Sarah_

Sarah stared out of the window, silently admiring the gorgeous view from her hotel room window. The past few days had been a massive rollercoaster for her and she wasn't used to it. Her gun and passport were patiently waiting for her on the bed and suddenly the phone started to ring.

Slowly making her way towards it, she took a deep breath. She was going to do this, she could do this, she'd gotten too emotionally entwined with the people in Burbank and now it was time to leave. Then though, she heard something else, a faint ringing coming from her cell. It was Chuck.

Her heart almost pounded out of her chest as she looked at the phone and then at her cell, she knew which way her heart wanted to go, but what did she want to do? Decidedly, she answered neither. She was Sarah Walker, she didn't need anyone, she was clever and fiercely independent. She fell back down on her bed and closed her eyes, in hope that everything around her would disappear.

Did she want to leave with Bryce? Did she want to stay with Chuck, in an endless game of emotional chicken? She tried to imagine each outcome in her mind. If she left with Bryce, it would be an endless road of romance, adventure and sex. How did she feel about him? She imagined kissing him and wrapping her arms around his neck, she shuddered at the thought and she actually felt like she was betraying Chuck.

Yes, she and Bryce had history, but was that just _history_? She didn't want more, she decided, she still cared about him, but she couldn't leave. Yes, it was easy to run away from her problems and leave her emotional entanglements behind, but when she thought about leaving Chuck - she couldn't even think about it, it made her want to throw herself out of the window.

She couldn't keep avoiding the fact that she had kissed him - twice. It was time to come to a conclusion in her mind about how she felt about him - no one would ever find out, she could just deal with it and then box it away in the back of her mind like she did with everything else.

She adored his personality, the way he made her laugh on her darkest days, like finding a bright, glittering light at the end of a suffocating dark cave. Sarah loved the way he cared so much about his family and friends and how he put their needs before his own, it made her want to be a better person. He was also clever and gorgeous and he made her feel like a love struck teenager.

How did she feel about him in theory? She imagined him standing before her that very moment and she relived the emotions she felt when she came close to him. He made her skin erupt in goose bumps, her heart pound a million times its' normal pace, he made her stomach swirl and her knees weaken. There was also the fact that she couldn't stop thinking about him, how she fantasised kissing him, or relived the kiss they had previously shared.

How could she even contemplate leaving this man? He didn't even compare to Bryce, she only cared about Bryce a fraction of how much she cared for Chuck. No way was she ever going to leave him, not only would it be like leaving half of her heart behind but she wouldn't be able to function properly without it.

How could she have let this happen to herself? Become co-dependent on someone without them even knowing, he had no idea that he was her lifeline, the reason she got out of bed everyday. She hadn't fallen in love with him yet, because she was still falling, deeper and deeper, slowly discovering the depths of her admiration for him.

Suddenly the decision was so easy. She shot a careless glance at the phone, picked up her cell and glanced at the one missed call from Chuck. Silently she nodded at him and stroked the picture of him with the palm of her hand.

"I choose you, Chuck." She whispered to the picture.

_Chuck_

Chuck anxiously stared at his phone, willing it to ring. She hadn't answered his call, did that mean she had left with Bryce? Even thinking about it made him physically hurt everywhere. He didn't want her to leave with him, but when he saw the way she looked at Bryce - her eyes full and shining with either love or lust, he couldn't decide - it made him think that she just might have gone.

All along he knew he was letting himself for a whole lot of hurt, but he let himself fall for her anyway. But it wasn't like he could have stopped himself, everything she did made him fall a little bit harder, it was inevitable - uncontrollable. Why on earth was he getting himself in knots over her, when she was probably on a plane with him right that minute, dreaming of her future full of glamorous spy missions and fancy hotel rooms.

How could she just throw away all those months with him though? Even if she felt nothing for him, she still had a job to do. Sighing loudly, he turned off the light but as he expected, he found that he couldn't sleep because his mind kept spinning around in circles. His heart was a bag of nerves at the prospect of never seeing her again.

But why would she kiss him like that if she felt nothing? If he was just another tool on the shelf? He let himself think what it would be like if she had gone, what his life would be like. He saw himself as a motionless, empty shell of a man with nothing to work towards, day after day he would mope through work at the Buy More, and lazily slope through missions - alone.

He thought of his life now, and even though he wasn't technically with Sarah, he still got to see her every day. Making every day an adventure, every time he thought he couldn't carry on being a spy anymore, he saw her face and knew everything would be okay.

Chuck felt himself dangerously close to crying, he tried to push down the lump that was quickly rising in his throat. She couldn't leave - she just couldn't. He sat up in bed and pushed the sweaty hair from his head, it was clear that he wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight. He threw on his jeans and went to the only place where he felt at peace with himself. The beach.

He sat on the sand with the waves crashing just metres away from him, he wanted to be washed away too. It didn't suit him being so miserable, he watched the sea and thought of the one person that could make this all better, but one the one person who could fix this was the one person who had caused this.

He picked up a rock and threw it towards the water, it gracefully skimmed over the silver sea and landed with a soft splash in the water. Chuck closed his eyes tight. _Please don't let her leave. _He knew that it was pretty stupid to ask a rock that, but some where some how, he hoped that someone was watching.

**Bryce**

I guess she isn't coming. I sigh and walk off, but then I stop. She isn't coming because of Chuck, she's fallen in love with him, I can tell by the way she looked at him. I can't believe it. Out of all the people to fall in love with, she chooses him. I guess I'm just mad because it isn't me and I've been crazy about her since I first met her.

Of course, I'm not in love with her, but she's great and I really like her. I can't help but feel a stinging sensation of jealousy though. The way her eyes glazed over when she had to shoot behind him, but she couldn't do it. I've never seen that side to her before, mixed up and venerable.

I can easily forget about her though, a million different places in the world with a million different types of women. That's why I love being a spy and am happy to move around from woman to woman. I don't know what Sarah's gotten herself into but she's not safe anymore, she's fallen madly in love and that means she's going to act mad and she isn't just in it for herself anymore. God help her.

_**Sarah's diary **_

_I seem to be writing in here more and more often, but it helps a bit. I have to be really cold with him when I see him next because I don't want anything to happen with him. Well - I do but, it can't. I honestly thought I could control my emotions and pack them away at the back of my mind, but I can't anymore. I know my eyes give everything away._

_If I had it my way though, I'd kiss him all over again and just let everything I've been feeling out. I'd run my hands through his hair and push him up against the wall - letting desire take over me. And then we'd fall on this bed right here and-_

_I shouldn't do this to myself, I should stop now otherwise I'll want it to be more than just a fantasy. I know I sound really dramatic and desperate, it's beginning to sound like a Mills and Boons novel. But I honestly can't help it._

_I used to never even think about this stuff but now I think about Chuck all of the time, I write about him in here. As long as I don't say anything out loud I guess it's not that bad._

_I don't regret not leaving with Bryce because I'm not in love with him (not that I'm in love with Chuck..) but I can't leave him. I have a feeling that there's going to be a really long, difficult road ahead of me._

**Hi.. Let me know what you think of this chapter, as you probably noticed this one probably consists more of Chuck and Sarah's **_**feelings**_** than anything else. Please review, thanks.**


	10. Chuck versus The Crown Vic

_I couldn't decide between two moments in this episode so I'm doing both, one is rather upsetting, the other is when they've made up!_

**Chuck versus The Crown Vic**

_**(The argument)**_

The doorbell rang as Chuck was trying to unwind, with a regretful sigh he trudged towards the door and opened it. He was a little shocked to see Sarah walk in, looking angry and unamused.

"Are Ellie and Awesome home?" She queried as she pushed past him.

"No." He replied, rather bewildered. "They're at work.. And hello to you too."

Sarah felt the anger building inside her, she couldn't hold it in anymore. "What the hell happened today?"

"I - I, I don't know, I don't get it, I had a flash." He said. _Please believe me._

She adopted a stony expression, clearly not buying a word of it. "Right when I went below deck with Kirk, it's pretty convenient timing, I would say."

He was getting more confused by the minute, how could she even doubt him? Why would he lie? "What are you talking about?" He asked.

"Just when you thought I was getting intimate with Kirk you decided to have a 'flash'." Her voice had risen by several decibels in the past few seconds.

He felt his heart drop, this couldn't be happening. He didn't want to argue with Sarah, we just wanted her to believe him. He wanted her to know that she was one of the most important people in his life and he wouldn't never even dream of lying to her.

"What exactly are you implying - that I faked a flash - that I'm a flash faker?" He bit back, hopelessly trying to defend himself.

"No I think that we need to discuss the fact that you let your emotions get in the way today." She said fiercely.

"_My _emotions?" His emotions? That was rich..

_How should I put this? _Sarah wondered doubtfully. "Things have been a little off since the incident, Chuck." She felt ashamed of herself calling it the incident, because it wasn't like that at all. In reality, it was something she could never refer to, but in her mind she could think about it as much as she wanted. The magical moment where the world around her stopped, that she came to her desires and let herself kiss him. Admittedly, the best moment of her life, if not the most passionate. She couldn't be truthful though, even though she could tell that she had stung him where it hurt.

"Really? And what incident are you referring to, Agent Walker? Huh?" She gazed at him, silently begging him not to say it. "Where you planted a kiss on me, right before a bomb was supposed to go off ending our lives? That same kiss right before your boyfriend Bryce came back from the dead, that same kiss?"

Chuck didn't hold back, he let himself spill everything out. He wanted answers, but it was clear he was getting nowhere. The feelings he felt obviously weren't returned due to the cold, hard stare she shot at him.

"Stop saying kiss! It happened, okay? What's done is done, can we just not talk about it, please?" She shouted, struggling to keep her emotional feelings inside.

"Okay, fine, absolutely. Will you just answer me one little thing-"

"Chuck I-"

"-Did you kiss me because you thought we were going to die and mine were the most convenient lips around, or was it actually about me?" He couldn't believe he had just said it. From the look on her face, he could tell that he wasn't going to get the answer he wanted.

Her expression softened for a moment, but then it changed. "What happened was a mistake." She snarled, pushing past him. "One I will not make again!"

She slammed the door behind her, leaving Chuck utterly speechless. He felt like his heart had broken in two and she'd taken off with the other piece. He couldn't believe she said it was a mistake, one of the happiest moments of his life… was a mistake! A sham! The fairytale land he'd been living in was crushed to smithereens and the more he thought about it, the heavier the impact had on him. He sat down and took a shaky breath.

It was moments like this that he needed his sister.

Why didn't he just go and speak to her? He didn't do it much anymore. He was pretty certain right now she was on a break, almost like he was being controlled by somebody else - he shakily pulled on his jacket and headed towards the hospital.

Sarah sat on the counter of Wienerlicious, swinging her legs like she didn't have a care in the world. Oh but she did. How could she have been so horrible to him? Speak to him like he was something on the back of his shoe? Guilt both surrounded and consumed her. She knew she had to keep her distance, yet she had never wanted to be so close to somebody.

It was pointless denying it anymore. In her imagination, she was already in his apartment. She was apologising to him, telling him that she didn't mean a word of it, their kiss wasn't a mistake - certainly not in her eyes anyway. And then she'd say, "If it was a mistake, would I be doing it again?" And she would take him in her arms and kiss him like there was no tomorrow.

Admittedly though, she had a mission today, so she would probably see him again and maybe, just maybe she might find the time to apologise. Well, she always had the time, it was just a matter of pride, she was terrified.

She wondered what he was doing now. Did he think, _I can move on now. _Was he wallowing in self pity wondering where it ever went wrong? Or was he regretting the fact that he had ever kissed her back?

Chuck sat in the waiting area of the hospital, nurses and doctors running past, barking orders at one another. He wriggled uncomfortably in his chair, he was nearly overwhelmed by the smell of disinfectant in the air and he wormed away from the people around him, covered in bandages and bloody wounds.

He saw Ellie emerge from the bathroom, cheering talking to the receptionist with her lunch in her hands, preparing to go to the canteen to meet her boyfriend.

"Ellie!" Chuck called softly.

She span around, searching for who had just called her name.

"Ellie!" He shouted again.

"Chuck!" She was shocked to find him here, had something bad happened?

"What are you doing here?" She asked curiously, slipping beside him. "Has something happened?"

"No, no.. I just wanted to talk to you about something." Chuck smiled uneasily.

"Oh, sure." She gestured for him to follow her as they walked into the canteen, sliding into an abandoned table in the corner. She looked at him, concerned, his face was pale and drawn, he also looked very confused and worried.

"What's up?" She prompted him, clearly it was something that was troubling him because he never came to the hospital to see her at work.

"How do you think Sarah feels about me, El?" He asked.

_Hadn't they broken up? _Ellie wondered to herself, they were on and off so much she didn't know where they were with each other anymore. She decided to proceed cautiously, but honestly.

"Chuck, honestly.." She thought for a moment. "All I can say is about what I see. I mean whenever you guys are together she looks at you constantly and her eyes light up like a kid on Christmas morning. It kind of feels wrong saying this but.. She looks at you like she wants to devour you. I guess you look at her pretty much the same, and the way.. Oh the way she smiles at you, Chuck, can't you tell she's madly in love with you?"

"In _love _with me?" Chuck stuttered. "No way, I don't believe you." But he so wanted to.

"Look! I know love when I see it, I especially know when your in love. And you are, you completely mirror one another's feelings, I mean every time she smiles at you, you shoot back an equally dazzling one, you know?" Ellie's eyes turned faraway and dreamy. Chuck already knew what he had been letting himself in for when he went to her, but it didn't stop the shock.

Obviously, Sarah wasn't in love with him. Of course, he could pretend that Ellie's theory was true and live in a complete fantasy dream world. But was he in love with her? He didn't know, but one thing he did know was that he wasn't going to give up on her over one stupid fight.

"Thanks El!" He mumbled, darting form the table as he remembered he had a mission. He took that for granted before, doing things, going places without the CIA thread hanging over him all of the time, watching him like he was a Big Brother contestant. It did make him feel safe, but also slightly smothered.

Sarah served the costumers like she was floating, because all of the time she was thinking about _him. _Didn't he know that she had turned down Bryce for him? Turned down a life of lust and adventure? She felt like screaming.

He wasn't a mind reader. How would he know? She'd acted so coldly towards him.

_I'm sorry. _She apologised in her fantasy, maybe she'd find the courage to do it for real later.

_(The Christmas party at Buy More)_

Sarah approached Chuck from behind, smiling to herself as she saw him dancing clumsily, shaking his shoulders, his face a picture of concentration. When he saw her, his mouth fell open in embarrassment, he immediately stopped dancing and stood there awkwardly. Though, as he registered the smile on her face, it made him feel a little better.

His insides threatened to tumble out. "Hi."

"Hi." Sarah said quietly, unable to stop herself from smiling.

"I'm glad you.. I'm glad you came." He stuttered, as she smiled encouragingly.

They stood in silence for a moment. "I got you something." Chuck finally said, walking past her and over to the Christmas tree. He picked up a silver alarm clock with a red bow on it.

"Tada!" He said. "New alarm clock, merry Christmas."

She smiled down at it. "You shouldn't have."

"Ah, come on. There on sale in home electronics. Which reminds me, you should probably scan that thing before you leave the store." He wasn't saying what he really wanted to say, he openly gazed into her eyes and let himself be truthful. "Look, it's also kind of a - kind of a thank you for believing me when you had a good reason not to."

She shrugged. "Well, it's my job - what I do. It's the one thing I'm good at."

Chuck didn't agree, she was such a gorgeous women with the self belief of a peanut. "Really? Because I'm pretty sure that your good at a lot of things."

"Well, as you can see everything that happened with Bryce - I'm not so good at relationships." She admitted, trying to stop everything she'd always wanted to say from tumbling out.

"I guess that makes two of us." He grinned. Sarah's face mirrored his, just like Ellie had said - but what exactly was her face mirroring? Because he was pretty sure that he didn't love her. Not yet anyway. Even though it felt like, he just had a huge crush on her that was slowly deepening by the day.

"Which makes me good _at.. _pretty much nothing, I suppose." He said nervously - hoping she would do something to change his mind.

_How could he think that about himself? _Sarah wondered. _He's the most amazing guy.. Sarah! Stop it, come on! _

"Chuck! You're good at your job too, and not just here fixing computers, you know the one where you risk your life for others. The one that you didn't ask for but was supposed to have.." She trailed off. It may have sounded cheesy but she was getting lost in his eyes. They were literally glittering with something - hope, admiration - what?

"Friends?" He said, startling her. What he really meant to say was, girl_friend?_ But she didn't feel the same way so if he was to have any relationship with her whatsoever, then he would have her as a friend.

"Friends." She repeated as he stuck out his hand. She moved hers towards his as she felt their skin connect and sent tingling sensations through her. Neither wanted to let go, they stood staring at one another gormlessly until Jeff came over with his hat jingling - looking very drunk. He held something above their heads.

"Mistletoe." He drunkenly glanced at them both. "You'll thank me later, dude." He added with a sinister grin.

Awkwardly Chuck suggested they just dance instead and Sarah agreed.

"Lame." Jeff said as he felt the world around him swirl, before he knew it he was passed out on the floor.

They danced for a while, foolishly doing robot moves until a slow song came on. It was slow version of Mariah Carey's 'All I want for Christmas is you'. All around them Buy More employees and their guests were partnering up and dancing in harmony to the slow music. He looked at Sarah and she glanced bashfully back at him. He shifted his eyes across to Ellie and Awesome, who had both arrived half an hour ago, after much persuasion. Ellie caught his nervous eye whilst she was laying on Awesome's shoulder.

"Go on!" She prompted quietly. "Go!"

Sarah could see from the corner of her eye, and knew full well what Ellie was doing.

"Chuck." Sarah whispered. "Come on, for the cover." She took a step towards him.

"Would it really be that bad?" She whispered into his ear.

"No." He replied, he felt that he actually would need to hold on to somebody because he was about to fall over because he was so overwhelmed by her, it nearly knocked him to the floor - literally.

He slowly placed his hands on the small of her back as she rested her arms upon his shoulders and she placed her head on his chest - not daring to look up at him. As the music continued, Sarah let herself fall from reality, it was just her and him in their own little world. Or maybe she was in her own world, alone with her torturous thoughts.

He squeezed his hands tighter as if he knew what she was thinking, he never wanted to let go of her. Just for a few moments, nothing was complicated. And it was that moment when he knew it was more than a crush. He didn't want to admit it to himself, but this wasn't a normal man's behaviour.

As they glided around the 'dance' floor, they became oblivious to everybody around them, and only when the music stopped, they were both forced to come crashing back to reality.

Sarah smiled as they broke apart, she felt as if her cheeks were going to explode. Then the song changed to 'Jingle Bell Rock', Chuck lifted his hands up high, grabbed Sarah's and twirled her around, she couldn't tare her eyes away from his, her breath caught in her throat - it was almost as if the air was being sucked from the room.

Eventually as the darkness fell, people began to leave, including Chuck and Sarah. They met up with Ellie and Awesome at the door.

"Great dancing you guys!" Awesome said, nodding his head at the recent memory. "So are you going home, Sarah?"

"Yeah.." She mumbled.

"But you never stay over!" Ellie said. "Why don't you?"

"I guess I could." She said quietly.

"I'm not the reason why you don't stay over am I?" Ellie said, pulling Sarah aside.

"What? No, of course not Ellie, why would you think that?" Her voice turned high and squeak.

"Well - I guess I am kind of interfering - sometimes." Ellie narrowed her eyes. "Or are you two not.."

"I'm staying over!" Sarah almost shouted, she wrapped her fingers around Chuck's as they walked to the car.

"Sarah!" Chuck whispered in the back of the car. "Why are you staying over?" He protested meekly. He didn't really seem to be convincing anybody because he himself really wanted her to stay over. It filled him with an intense rush of excitement.

"We both know those two suspect something." She replied. "So we need to do it for the cover."

"Okay." He said, satisfied with her answer.

It was really late when they got back to the apartment, Ellie and Awesome retired to their bedroom and Chuck and Sarah decided to do the same. They came into his room and stared awkwardly at his bed.

"I'll sleep on the sofa if you like." He was already gathering up pillows.

"Chuck." She grabbed him by the upper arms, she looked at him and gently prised the pillows from his hands. "It's okay."

He stopped babbling, he flopped down on to the bed and pulled off his jeans so that he was just in his T-shirt and boxers. Sarah looked around the room, realising that she didn't have anything to change into.

Chuck watched her carefully, he already knew what was wrong with her. He went to his wardrobe and pulled out an oversized black top, with the word 'NERD' printed in white, capital letters.

"Here, borrow this." He smiled.

"Thanks. Don't look." Obediently, Chuck turned around and when she said it was safe, he almost passed out. He'd never wanted to dive on someone so much in his life. Her golden hair was tied into a ponytail and the top he gave her swayed sexily at her knees.

She noticed him staring at her and immediately felt self conscious, she got into bed beside him and pulled the duvet on top of her.

"Um.. I guess this is good night." She said, turning off the lamp beside the bed.

Even though he wasn't touching her and was at the complete opposite side of the bed, she couldn't sleep knowing he was there. She had to clamp her hands together to prevent herself from reaching out and touching him, she swore that her heart was beating so fast that it was vibrating the bed. She just wished she could say everything that she wanted to, even if she overcame her own fears, Casey might still be listening through his ear piece.

"Sarah." He said quietly, secretly hoping that she had already fallen asleep.

"Yeah?" She turned around and propped herself up onto one elbow.

"Do you ever think about the time when we.. You know." He stuttered, not meeting her eyes through the darkness.

"Always." She found herself saying.

"Was it really a mistake for you?" He asked.

"Best mistake I ever made." She whispered so softly, she hoped that he hadn't heard - but he had.

"Why did you - I mean.. you know." He couldn't even say the word kiss, he felt seven years old again.

"I - Chuck, listen.. I can't talk about things like this, it's too hard."

"What's so hard about it?" He replied almost angrily.

"Just.. Please." She whimpered.

"Okay." He sighed. "But one day, when your ready, will you tell be about it?"

"Yeah." She laid her head back down and wondered when she would be ready. She couldn't sleep with the thoughts that were surrounding her. She had got herself in too deeply, there was no going back now. This man beside her was the best thing that had ever happened to her, and she felt such a pang of love that she vowed she would never let anyone hurt him - excluding herself, because she couldn't make any promises.

She heard his breaths lengthen and deepen and knew he had fallen asleep. She let herself edge closer to him so that she was half an inch away from his sleeping body, with shaking hands she placed her hands over his and nestled into his shoulder. Finally content, she fell asleep.

Chuck kept his breathing shallow, he could feel her hands on his and her head against his shoulder. He didn't know whether she had done it in her sleep or what, but he knew that he wasn't going to miss a moment of it and he held her tighter. For one moment he pretended that she was his, his to hold, to cherish. He already knew that tomorrow nothing would be said and everything would return to 'normal' but for now he could live in a fantasy.

He turned towards her, gently kissed the top of her head and savoured every moment.

**I think this is the longest chapter I've ever done. I'd appreciate it if you reviewed. Thanks!**


	11. Chuck versus The Undercover Lover

**Chuck versus The Undercover Lover**

"Last chance." Sarah said angrily. "Where's Chuck Bartowski?"

The man remained silent. _Where is he? _Sarah thought to herself. Suddenly she heard a man screaming, well, the only man she knew that screamed was Chuck. It was loud and desperate, almost as if he were fighting for his life. She gazed upwards to where the scream was coming from. And there he was, dangling from a very high balcony, gazing downwards in fear. She felt her whole body freeze.

_I have to save him! _She felt herself getting to her feet, but then it was too late. He and Casey - tied together had been pushed off of the ledge. They wouldn't fall, things like this didn't happen to her. It happened to other people, she'd already had too much heartbreak. But already they were hurdling towards the ground as Sarah watched helplessly as they plummeted further and further towards their death. She wanted to run and catch him, she couldn't loose him, what little they had was all she had to survive on.

She tried to think how scared he was, falling quickly - too fast for even his short life to flash before his eyes. Although it was sudden, she found that he was almost falling in slow-motion as she tried to imagine life without him, but she couldn't.

Then as she prepared herself for the worst, he and Casey slammed into the swimming pool causing half of Elsa's wedding guests to get soaked. Sarah felt like she was about to cry, they could have both hit the bottom of the pool with such a force, that they could both be dead. She hit the man that was lying before her with her gun and headed towards the direction of the pool with her gun waiting at her side in the palm of her hand.

Her heart thudded with sheer terror, it was unthinkable loosing him. All of a sudden, she saw them emerge from the pool gasping for breath and it was the sweetest sound she had ever heard in her life. He was okay, a little shocked and unsurprisingly wet, but his face looked somehow sexy with his hair damp and jet black against his forehead. She put her feelings for him aside for a moment and headed towards the crowds with her gun held high.

After the whole saving-the-day-and-now-everything's-okay debacle, Chuck was sitting inside the hotel reception with a large towel wrapped around him. Sarah sat next to him so that they were shoulder to shoulder, she didn't care that she was getting damp by touching him, it was worth it just to be close to him after she'd come so close to losing him.

"Are you okay?" She said softly, handing him a hot cup of coffee.

"Yeah, yeah.. I'm fine." He smiled uneasily. She gave him a look which said, 'I don't believe you for a minute'. With a defeated shrug he began speaking again. "It's just.. When I was 'falling' to my death, you'd think that I was just concentrating on not hitting the floor, you know? But strangely I couldn't really feel the full terror of it, the plummeting swirl in my stomach and the feeling of not being able to control my limbs was nothing compared to the fact that.."

It shocked Sarah a little when he stopped speaking because she was genuinely intrigued. She patted him softly on the shoulder.

"Carry on. It's alright, I'm not here to judge you." She said matter-of-factly.

"Well in my head I was thinking of the people I was leaving behind, people who I'd never see again - and it broke my heart. Oh God, I'm sorry for laying this all on you." He said, turning to her and then he almost jumped as if he were noticing her for the first time. She looked scared, but also relived. Her eyes were totally fixed on his and he felt the familiar feelings fizz in his stomach and bubble into life, flowing around his veins. It made him feel alive and full of energy, despite his previous near death experience not even an hour ago.

Sarah looked like she felt it too and flinched a little. She let out a little cough. "No, no, you're not laying anything on me, it's fine. Believe or not I actually do love to listen to people, I know I don't talk much, but it's not like I have a lot to say." She smiled, as she felt the static in the air gradually building so that it was almost impossible to keep a straight conversation going.

Chuck returned her grin and continued to speak. "It was like there were two of me when I was up there, there was the screaming coward who was no doubt about to die and then there was this other part of me that was thinking about something else - _someone _else." At this point the looked straight into her eyes and somehow hoped that she knew what he was saying. "And I was wondering what I'd do without them, whether there was heaven or not - if I'd still see them." He was nearly on the brink of breaking into a cheesy song and declaring his feelings for her, but just in time he stopped himself.

Sarah nodded, trying to keep her face calm and collected on the outside. She looked at him in a different way to what she had before, she knew that he had not been a selfish man - but this was a whole other level. As he was about to possibly die, he was thinking about other people and more importantly her.

She did catch on to what he was saying and it shocked her to the very core knowing that he was experiencing everything that she was, that he completely felt the same. It filled her with a gorgeous warm glow, then though, a sickening feeling of guilt. They both had to feel like this when they knew nothing could ever happen between them.

She never wanted to leave his side again, she had come so close to loosing him that she never wanted to warm away, she wanted to stay glued to him.

She took a deep breath, this was all getting too much. It was overpowering her and her thoughts it was taking over her life and her job. She couldn't even believe the fact that one person - apposed to the six billion other people out there - single-handedly could change her life without even knowing it. She was a different person after knowing him for only nearly a year. She felt lighter, more fun loving and human.

She blinked back at him, he may have had just asked her something, but she wasn't sure.

"Sarah? Hello?" He waved his hand shakily in front of her face.

"Sorry." She jumped a little. "I was in my own world."

"What's that like there?" He wondered out loud.

"It's pretty scary." She admitted. "Pretty scary."

_**REVIEW PLEASE? A pretty short one but I tried really hard and I'm looking forward to writing the next.**_


	12. Chuck versus The Marlin

**Chuck versus The Marlin**

_Double Edition._

_Moment one: Chuck and Sarah say goodbye._

Chuck took in every ounce of his surroundings, he tried desperately to see what was around him but Longshore was leading him away so quickly he barely had a chance to catch his breath. This would be the last time he'd see the night sky with the moon sneakily hiding behind the clouds, the last time he would see the buildings twinkling below him in the darkness and the last time he saw Sarah.

"Longshore!" See! He was even still hearing her sweet voice in his head. They both span around anyway. But no, he hadn't imagined it! Here was Sarah racing towards him. He hoped there was a change of plan and Sarah would be taking him back home.

"Sarah thank God you're here listen I don't want to go yet -" He started to babble, before Sarah interrupted and started to talk to Longshore about the circumstances, Chuck zoned out, only hoping to be freed. He heard something along the lines of Sarah saying that it was all going to be okay now, his heart pounded with hope. He thought that he was right not to intervene as they negotiated .

Longshore, however, was having none of it. Sarah's eyes glistened with desperation as she begged for more time.

"Okay." He snarled. "You have one minute."

_One _minute? One measly minute was all she had left with him? She felt like she was slowly cracking, it wasn't going to be long before she just broke open and everything would come tumbling out.

"I'm not ready Sarah, I'm not ready to disappear." Chuck said, his voice thick with emotion.

"I know." She nodded solemnly.

"I need you to talk to Ellie and to Morgan and my friends and tell them - I don't know. Look, if I'm supposed to be dead just say something that will make them feel okay, make them feel alright." He looked deeply into her eyes to find that they were filled with tears, desperate to get out. If she felt nothing, would she be this emotional?

Sarah couldn't speak as he asked her if she could do that for him, so she just nodded again as she battled with the lump in her throat. She knew that if he said something- anything now about the situation, he would open the floodgates and she wouldn't be able to stop it no matter how much she fought with it.

"Of course you can, your Sarah, you can do anything." He said, She smiled as she watched him nearly cry like she was about to. She couldn't do _anything_ though, she couldn't stop him from being taken away, she couldn't take him in her arms that moment and kiss him and tell him how much he meant to her.

"Hey, there's a silver lining to this too, you know. We're not working together anymore which means.." He probably wasn't going to see her again so he didn't hold back. "..So we can go on a date. You can come by my cell and we can hang out and you can tell me who the president is. And maybe uh.." He took her hands in his even though they were tight together with handcuffs. "Say how we really feel.." _I think I'm in love with you. _He wanted to say. She looked at him with pleading eyes as if she wanted to say so much more..

"Times up!" Longshore shouted, transporting them both back down to the cruel, cruel earth.

"Goodbye Sarah." He said as a tear trickled down her cheek - he felt a little relived in all of this that she had finally let something escape, that let him know that she was human.

He turned away as he took half of her heart with him. It took all she had not to fall to the floor sobbing her heart out, crying how she couldn't live without him, how it wasn't worth doing anything if he wasn't there. It was then Sarah realised, it was more than just a crush. She had let herself fall so deeply that she couldn't even regret it anymore. As she finally admitted it to herself, he was walking away. _Don't go! _She still felt his hand on hers, it tingled but slowly ebbed away until she was left with the raw coolness of her own hands.

"Chuck!" She shouted. He turned around so that their eyes reconnected and sent volts zinging through the air into their bodies. "Save you later." She sniffed as he did that cute half smile he always did.

Chuck walked towards Longshore, just as he was nearly there, Longshore gasped as a shooting sound erupted into the cool night sky. He fell to the ground, Chuck wasn't sure whether he was unconscious yet or not.

"Get down!" She shouted, suddenly Sarah Walker the spy, her other half had taken over, thank God. Suddenly her gun was shot from her hands as she glanced over to see the woman she had had a fight with earlier. They both ran down the steps into a hidden away corner.

Chuck tried to compose his breath for a moment and as he wondered what would happen to him now. He crouched down next to Sarah. He didn't even want to consider leaving her ever again, Sarah the super spy had taken over now but she had given him a glimpse of what she really felt and a glimmer of hope shone over his pathetic excuse of a life. He didn't have time to think about that now, he closed his thoughts off for a moment - half hoping to revisit them later.

_Moment two: Ellie and Awesome's engagement_

"You can only keep him here for so long, you realise that, don't you?" Casey said as a fresh wave of emotion washed over Sarah. _Don't say that! _She wanted to scream. She watched as Chuck hugged Ellie and Awesome tightly, congratulating them on their engagement. She felt fiercely protective of him, she wouldn't let anybody hurt him, ever.

She tore her eyes away from Chuck for a moment so that she was face to face with Casey, he looked knowingly into her eyes as if he could see a cold, bleak future ahead of Chuck. He gave a helpless shrug and turned to walk into his own apartment, slamming the door shut behind him.

Sarah turned back to the window, she should probably make a move now, but she couldn't turn away, they were a proper family, whereas she had none - well none that wanted her or ones that weren't dead or sleaze-ball conmen.

Ellie felt somebody's eyes on her. She whirled around so that she was facing the windows and she met Sarah's tearful eyes. She took in her face and her tear stained cheeks, almost immediately she forgot all about the proposal and felt only concern for Sarah. She gestured her hand in a waving motion, telling Sarah to come in, but she shook her head but smiled and turned to walk away.

"Chuck!" Ellie hissed.

"Yeah?" He jumped a little.

"What's wrong with Sarah?" She asked, pointing to the window.

Chuck followed her finger but only saw Sarah walking away. It was a family time to him, but she was his family, whether she liked it or not.

"Don't worry El, crack open the champagne and I shall be back momentarily." He smiled so convincingly that Ellie could only grin in reply.

He ran after Sarah, shouting her name so loudly that people from china could probably hear him. Sarah carried on running as tears sprouted down her face, she didn't want him to see her like this. Wiping her tears away with the back of her hand, she was almost at her car when she felt his hand grip her waist. She almost fell to the floor with the new impact of feelings that had just hit her. She turned around so that she was facing him, she couldn't bring herself to look into his eyes because she knew that she would break down.

She pulled away but he insistently grabbed her hands, in the end she gave up and decided to hear him out. He put his hand underneath her chin, trying to get her to look up at him.

He sighed but kept his hands on hers. "Sarah." He said. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just leave me alone Chuck, just know when your not wanted okay?" She shot back at him, shrugging her hands away.

"You don't mean that, Sarah." Chuck replied blocking her car door.

"I do!" She shouted. "Just go away, okay? You're never meant to see me like this!"

"But you're only human. I know you're a kick-ass super spy most of the time but it's nice to know Sarah the person. That's the person who I fell.. That's the person who I know. Come on, can't you just drop your rock hard exterior for two minutes and have a civil conversation? I know who you are, just be who you want to be, no one's watching you." He was panting by the end of his big speech, Sarah pushed him out of the way of her car door, opened it and slid in the seat.

"Get in." She said, smiling half heartedly. Obediently, he climbed in bedside her as she sped off to the only place that she knew she could be herself. The beach.

When they arrived, Chuck reached out for her hand as they walked towards the sand. She gratefully accepted it and reassured him with a sympathetic squeeze. She felt such a rush of love for him that moment that it took all she had then and there to not reach out and kiss him hard. She found a spot on the sand that was the perfect distance away from the tide, but in the place where the sun was just right.

She sat down and he sat a safe distance away from her, but he was still close. He understood that if she wanted her to open up to him, then he needed to give her some space. He gazed at her intently and she looked back at him as if she were thinking what to say next.

"Just watching Ellie, you and Awesome it just reminds me of what I don't have." Sarah sighed. "You must hate me. I don't talk much, I can't say anything about my past and you can't be with me."

He nodded and thought for a moment. "Sarah, I talk enough for the both of us. I don't care who you were in the past - as I've said before I know who you are now and that's all that matters to me. You know how much I care about you right? You don't need to worry about stuff like that, I'm the worrier, remember?" He smiled and put his hand up to her face.

"I'm no good at this sort of stuff, and we can't be together, Chuck." She drew her attention back to the sea, it was quite therapeutic to watch the tide go in and out.

He got up and repositioned himself so that he was sitting right in front of her. "Do you not feel anything?" Chuck whispered daringly.

"I-" She stopped and looked up at his intense gaze that burned into her very core, it made her heart beat with excitement but also dread. Her whole body shook with pure anticipation and she couldn't made it go away. _When are you just going to be brave, Sarah? _She asked herself. _Like Chuck said, you are a human being and it's time you started acting like one! _

"Maybe." She squeaked as if she were pledging a solemn wedding vow.

Chuck was a little surprised even though he had suspected it. A woman like her, gorgeous, smart and extremely talented had possibly fallen for him. _Him! _Chuck Bartowski. He didn't think that she was in love with him but at least she sometimes considered having a relationship with him. He felt the zing in the air grow stronger and suddenly it was pulling him towards her.

"I know this sounds weird.. But.. Can I just.. Hold you?" He whispered as she nodded, she un-tucked her knees from beneath her chin and just let herself go floppy. She shuddered (in a good way) as he wrapped his warm, tender arms around her and it shocked her a little as he slowly lifted her onto his lap. She caught his eye and all her guilt washed away. For now there were no cameras, no audio devices, it was just them in their own little world.

He pulled his arms tight and she rested her head on his chest and listened to his beating heart. She pulled her arms away from her chest and pulled them around him. She couldn't believe this was happening right now, she listened to the sea as she watched he sunset in the distance. Despite the strange situation, she had never felt happier in her life, she didn't want to pull away from his embrace. Chuck moved down and kissed her on her forehead.

"Is this all we can ever do?" He asked.

"Yeah. You understand though, right?" She replied, looking up at him.

"What if I were to do this though?" He couldn't stop himself this time, he rested his forehead against hers and wrapped his arms around the small of her back. She was terrified, she didn't know whether it showed on her face or not but she felt small and venerable. She felt as though she was being attacked by all these raw emotions and they were winning.

Heck, she wanted them to win. She closed her eyes and pushed him back on to the sand, she pressed her lips up against his and let her tongue explore his mouth. Her whole body exploded with desire as her temperature rose by several degrees.

Chuck ran his hands through her hair and felt like he never had before as his tongue danced the tango with hers. He felt a little tired though, he opened his eyes whilst kissing her and found that she was doing the same. She tore herself away from him.

"We can't." She said, even though it was breaking her heart.

"Just once more." He gave her one last passionate kiss as they both stood up whilst entwined to one another.

"Don't say a word." Sarah smirked as she walked ahead of him.

"I wouldn't dream of it!" He laughed, catching up with her and taking her hand and whirling her around and around until they got to the car.

Still smiling, she started the car and drove quickly and deposited him home.

"Goodnight, Mrs Walker." He said, shutting the door behind him. "One day real soon I'm going to take you on a real date."

"Okay." She laughed disbelievingly. "Goodnight." She didn't want to think about what just happened, she clutched the steering wheel and sped off into the night - silently hoping that everything that had just happened would have been a blissful dream.

_**Review please! Commence season two!**_


	13. Chuck versus The First Date

_Did you ever wonder what really would have happened on their first date if Casey hadn't have smashed through the window with his car? Yeah.. Me too. I don't normally go AU, but I'll make it fit, don't get excited though, it's a one off.._

_**Chuck versus The First Date**_

"But that means.."

"You're still the only intersect." Sarah held his gaze for several seconds. "I'm sorry." It broke her heart as she watched his close his eyes tight in disappointment, she could tell that he was dangerously close to tears.

"Do you want to come in?" He asked, stepping out of the doorway so that there was enough room for her to walk through.

"Um, no Chuck.. Well of course I want to, but I just had to come and tell you and now I have to go and see Beckman." She smiled, she waved to him as his hand mirrored hers but in a much more floppy, disdainful fashion.

She really didn't't want to leave him when he was like this, upset and feeling like there was no point in going on anymore. But she really did have to talk to Beckman about the whole Trojan Horse palaver. After wavering at the door for several more seconds after it had closed, she turned on her heel and walked regretfully into the distance.

Chuck sat on the couch with his knees up to his chin, with a sigh he decided to carry himself off to his bedroom. He really didn't't want Ellie to see him like this, he slammed his door shut behind him and then he gave it several kicks in frustration . He took his life for advantage before, he even missed the little things that meant to much to him now even though they were only mere memories now.

He slid into bed and turned off the light beside him, he didn't know who he was kidding thinking that he would be able to get to sleep now. He closed his eyes anyway and felt the full impact of the past few days on him and suddenly he felt exhausted. He wondered what it would be like if the date he and Sarah had not been interrupted.

For once, his dream alter ego decided to cooperate and decided to show him just what it might have been like.

_They entered the restaurant arm in arm, both surveying the room with interest._

"_Your seats sir." A tall waiter said, with a bowtie wrapped tightly around his slender neck. He pulled out a chair for Sarah, handed them two menus, smiled begrudgingly, and walked off into the direction of the kitchen._

"_Jeez! Did you see that guy?" Chuck snorted, peeking at her from over his menu. _

"_Yeah." She replied, raising her eyebrows slightly. "What about him?" _

"_Do you never notice these things about people? He walks as if he has that very expensive bottle of wine over there - stuck up his butt." He laughed._

"_Well excuse me if I didn't't look at his butt." She narrowed her eyes at him._

"_You couldn't't miss it, Sarah!" He picked up the champagne and poured her a glass. "Look, here he comes again!" _

_Obediently, Sarah looked at the way he walked and funnily enough, he walked as if he were holding a fragile egg between his knees._

"_God help us if he's carrying our food." She grimaced. "What's the food like here?"_

"_It's great." He said simply. "Shall we order?"_

"_Sure."_

_Twenty minutes later their food arrived and Sarah was surprised by how nice the food was._

"_Wow, this food is good." Sarah agreed. "How did you hear about this place, anyway?" She asked putting another delicious sliver into her mouth._

"_Morgan as a matter of a fact. The man has a black belt in dumplings. I trust any recommendation for any food items less than ten dollars." Chuck stated matter-of-factly._

"_So our first date is a Morgan recommendation?" She asked. 'Our first date' she loved saying that the word sounded gorgeously delicious on her tongue, she savoured ever little ounce of it._

"_Wow. No faith in the little bearded man, okay. Well I think you should know, he's always been supportive of our fake relationship. And - he's never found it remotely unbelievable that a guy like me could be dating.. Umm.. You know." He stuttered._

_She gazed at him sexily, "What?" She challenged him. _

"_Umm.. You know, you." He managed to splutter out._

"_What about me?" She smiled, raising her eyebrows slightly as she ate another mouthful. _

_He laughed. "Your really going to make me say it, aren't't you?" She tilted her head from side to side as if to say, "Yes, Mr. Bartowski, I am."_

"_Fine, alright, okay, we'll play it your way. A girl like you or more appropriately, a woman like you. Considering you could probably kick the ass off everyone in this joint. And a smart one, at that. And not to mention, cool, and.." He paused and took a deep breath and looked at her like he wanted to ravish her then and there. "Extremely beautiful and.. You can stop me any time with the compliments if they're becoming.. You know."_

"_No, no, that was very sweet." Well, of course she wanted to say more than that, she felt as if the spy part of her right now was melting away and this was the real Sarah, she felt terrified yet excited, she already knew that she was different person when she was with him. He was amazingly smart and good-looking, he was kind, considerate and funny. She just couldn't't think of the word to some him up._

"_Sweet? Golly gee thanks for making me feel like a mate." He joked as she laughed._

"_Well, your not so bad yourself." She admitted shyly._

"_Please. I'm fantastic." He said sarcastically._

"_Yeah." She looked at him intently, "you are." They stared at one another for a few moments, both overcome with emotion for one another. _

_Chuck had never felt so much for anyone in all his life. Was he in love with her? Is this what real love felt like?_

"_What would Casey think if we were doing this right now?" Chuck asked randomly after a small silence had ensued._

"_It would probably kill him." She smiled._

"_Would it?" He wondered aloud._

"_Well, he wouldn't be very happy about it would he?" _

"_No, I guess not." He admitted._

"_Hey, look fortune cookies!" He said like a five-year-old boy on Christmas morning. He handed her one._

"_Thanks." She said, cracking it open._

"_So, does it say where your going next, your new mission?" He asked._

"_Actually, it does."_

"_Really?" _

"_No, not really." She smiled disbelievingly. "Besides, it doesn't work that way, they'll probably give me a new cover and move me as far from here as possible."_

"_What if they didn't?" He asked hopefully._

"_Chuck, a CIA officer doesn't get to choose." _

"_You know, I still have an awful lot of secrets in my head. The Limburg Baby, the formula for the new coke.." _

"_What are you saying, Chuck?" She leaned in so close that they were merely inches away from each other._

"_What I've always wanted to say, Sarah."_

_Sarah closed her eyes as he came nearer to her. He was going to kiss her, this was it. The beginning of her brilliant new world. Or the end of life as she knew it, she was happy with either. She felt his lips on hers and felt her skin prickle to his touch, she placed her hands on the edges of his face and kissed him hard. He slipped his arm around the back of her neck as the kiss deepened. He couldn't believe this was happening._

"_Uh hum." They heard someone from above them cough._

_They broke apart abruptly but left their hands still holding each others. They came face to face with the expensive-champagne-bottle-up-his-ass waiter. _

"_Yeah?" Chuck smiled._

"_I'm sorry sir." He sniffed, his face as stiff as cardboard. "This is a family restaurant and I don't think a public display of affection like this is very good for the families around you, do you think so?" _

_Chuck stifled a laugh as he caught Sarah's eye. "Sorry, it won't happen again." He smirked._

"_Thank you." He walked off._

"_Jesus, how rude was he?" Chuck said, playing with her hand._

"_I know, should we just get the cheque?" She raised a playful eyebrow at him._

"_Okay." _

_Five minutes later they were outside of the restaurant with a bottle of wine from the bar. They walked along the street with the darkening sky above them dotted with sparkling stars and a bright, full moon optimistically shining down on them. They walked along the street hand in hand, silently admiring the perfect sky._

"_I guess I'll walk you home." He gazed at her._

"_Let's take the long route then." She mirrored his glance._

_He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and walked with her. For a moment, nothing else in the world mattered it was just him and her walking along the empty streets with their dreams stretched out in front of them. Then he knew that he'd drop her off home and they would be back to reality. They walked for what seemed like a whole hour but everything felt timeless, like they were floating in a blissful new world._

_They were only walking down a simple street but in his head everything was dancing just like he felt he wanted to. All this time he spent all this time yearning for her and now, now she was here wrapped in his arms and he couldn't think of any place he'd rather be. _

_They came to the outside of her apartment. "Goodnight." He beamed._

"_Night, Chuck." She cupped his face and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. _

"_I love you." He thought silently. _

He sat bolt upright in bed. His head pounding as each second his dream was slowly slipping away from him but one thought remained. _Do I love her?_

_**Review. Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've moved house and have been without the internet for a while. Right now I have very little time on my hands but the next will be much better, thanks.**_


	14. Chuck versus The Seduction

**Chapter 14.**

"I need to see what we're dealing with." Roan stated whilst pouring clear liquid into a martini glass. "Assume your partner is the mark."

Chuck's heart thudded to a speedy halt. He could already see where this was leading he was about to make a fool of himself and he knew it.

"How would you seduce her?" Roan asked. _Be cool, be cool, Chuck. _He told himself firmly.

"That's an excellent question. I would probably start with the err.. Bedroom eyes, you know, maybe. The old Bartowski eyebrow dance, and come in at you like this.." He wiggled his eyes brows and came closer to her. "And then I'd start firing the guns at you. Hey baby -"He was interrupted as Sarah giggled silently.

"Hey, don't encourage him! This isn't happy hour at Chile's, this is Sasha Banachek!" Roan almost sighed.

"I don't know, I would probably, you know, be myself, and try and make her laugh a little bit. Find a cultural interest - music." Chuck stuttered.

"Be yourself - you think a woman like this.." He indicated at Sarah. "Would ever fall for a guy like you?"

Chuck often wondered this himself because he was still totally oblivious to what she felt. He was only just coming to terms with what he felt - after a nearly year. Well, almost. Sometimes he was quite accepting about it but other times he span into a deep web of denial. It's not that he wished that he'd never met her - because he'd never do that, it was that the fact that the feeling wasn't returned and that hurt more than anything. Roan was right why on earth would a gorgeous girl like Sarah fall for a geeky guy like him?

Sarah felt as if she was going to explode, what did he mean a woman like her? There wasn't really anything special about her at all. She gazed into the distance and thought about it, say maybe she had fallen for a guy like him? 'A guy like him' was right if he meant the funniest, cleverest, most generous smartest guy in the world. She found herself thinking about this thought more and more frequently, she was getting emotionally weaker - she couldn't push it away anymore. She wanted to hold him that very moment and tell him to never get himself into any danger - because it would absolutely destroy her. Even though she was very much still in denial about the whole situation, that much she knew.

"I don't know, borrowing any national emergency - I think I might have a shot." Chuck joked meekly.

"Be reasonable. This is a gorgeous, sophisticated woman. And your-"

Sarah couldn't hold in in anymore. "Passionate and sweet and caring." She couldn't meet his eyes as he smiled adoringly at her.

"Really? Tall dark and caring - what a complement." Roan sneered.

"I don't mean it like that - he has a lot to offer." Sarah argued.

"Fine. Let me see this caged passion. Kiss him." He replied.

_Any day. _Sarah thought. _I mean uh.. "_Excuse me?"

"I don't think that's necessary at this particular juncture right now, Roan. I'm solid as a rock in that department." He protested, of course he wanted to kiss her but he didn't want to throw himself on her when she would probably push him away.

"What's wrong, don't you find agent Walker attractive?"

How could he even ask that question, wasn't it blatantly obvious to Roan that she was the most beautiful woman on the planet? He really didn't want to sound soppy here, but to him her hair wasn't just blonde - it was golden, her eyes weren't a boring shade of blue they were bright and sparkling in the daylight and her smile could light up the room - the whole street even.

"Of course I find her attractive.." Sarah felt her heart lift but pushed back a smile, so instead, she sat staring with a bemused expression into the distance. "- It's just that I had a burrito earlier and I'm trying to be respectful." Chuck tried, and he _definitely_ didn't want to kiss her in front of _him._

Roan wondered out loud how if he couldn't kiss her now, would he be able to seduce Sasha? Sarah thought about this and felt all of her willpower giving away, she wanted this. She didn't care about the circumstances she just wanted to feel his lips on hers again - that was the way it was supposed to be. She wanted to feel his hands running through her hair and the excited beating of her own heart. The rush was intensifying. She didn't think she had ever wanted anything more.

_How do I put this lightly. "_Chuck it's okay." She said. _Wait, what if he doesn't want to kiss me?_

Chuck felt the world around him stop. "Really?" _Wow._

"Yeah."

He glanced at Roan and again at Sarah and slowly started moving his way towards her. He was inches away from her face when he chickened out and gave her a peck on the lips.

Sarah felt quite unsatisfied.

"Perhaps I moved too fast, have you _had _intercourse before?"

Chuck wasn't being made a fool out of. "Okay, you know what? You're crazy. This is crazy, I don't have to take lessons from you." He stood up as Sarah looked down awkwardly at the table - feeling rejected and wanting the ground to swallow her whole.

"Really, maybe I picked the wrong agent. I'll get agent Casey to kiss her." Roan lied, of course he wouldn't do that - but he could tell the kid was wavering.

And he was. "You really want me to kiss her?"

"Desperately." Roan said sarcastically.

"Fine." And it was fine by him. Chuck reached out and grabbed a very shocked Sarah. He whirled her off of her seat and pulled her towards him and suddenly their lips met and they forgot anybody was watching. Passion exploded inside them as she ran her hands through his hair and held him tight.

Chuck felt it all - the heart pounding, the butterflies, the weak knees but also, he felt strangely satisfied, like a whole was being filled. Because he had wanted to do this again for so long that it felt good to have it. It was like going on a diet and not being allowed chocolate, but then finally caving. But Sarah wanted it to develop into something more, she suddenly felt very turned on.

She slipped her tongue into his mouth and greedily kissed him harder. Roan watched with what started with amusement but then he started to get very interested in what had happened between these two previously. It was obvious that this wasn't the first time, he could see the need being expressed in them both. If he was honest, he didn't know the kid had it in him.

Chuck and Sarah parted for a moment and were about to go back in and kiss again when they remembered one significant detail - they were being watched. With a deep regretting feeling, Chuck pulled away and coughed awkwardly.

"Bravo." Smirked Roan.

"I'd better fix my lipstick - excuse me." Sarah mumbled quietly and walked hurriedly out of the room.

"Something tells me that wasn't the first time that's happened." He said.

"What?" Chuck's voice turned very high pitched. "No - no, we're totally professional. That's - we work together.

Roan said something about that he'd help Chuck get her too and outside in the van Casey dropped his head. "We're dead." He sighed.

"Roan, honestly, you have no idea what you're talking about!" He lied angling himself towards the door.

"Whatever." He slurped his martini skilfully. "Where are you going?"

_Sarah said she had to fix her lipstick - you can't say that - say something clever. _"Um, I need the bathroom."

"Sarah just went in there."

"Look." Chuck came closer to him. "I really didn't want to tell you this but you leave me no choice. I have a killer wedgie and I'm not picking it out in front of you." He lied, he wasn't good with improvising. He knew that from the spastic colon incident.

Roan's face crumpled in disgust . "Ew, okay - go for it."

Chuck smiled and nodded before scooting out of the room after Sarah. This time he wasn't up for playing mind games and only saying what he felt through he eyes - he wanted to find out what just happened there and he knew he wasn't just feeling it. She had kissed him with as much passion as he had, he was almost certain of it.

He came to the bathroom door and couldn't hear anything, it was open ajar so he pushed it gently. "Sarah?"

Sarah had put the toilet seat down so that it was acting like a chair and was just sitting there with her head in her hands. She jumped up when he came in.

"Chuck! Hi.." He came closer so that he was opposite her and just looked into her eyes knowingly, she felt like his eyes were boring into her very soul, carefully analysing each detail, she felt exposed and naked. She tried to stare back just as dominantly, trying to push out her inner spy. But he made her feel like no one could, for once she wasn't the one in charge, and she felt like a woman.

"I'm just going to go for it, Sarah." Chuck said, perching on the edge of the bath.

"For what?" She asked.

"I - uh.. Look. We both know our relationship isn't ever going to be professional, is it? I feel too much for you. Was it only me who was feeling it in that kiss just then?" He replied.

She shook her head vigorously. "I felt it too." She whispered.

It shocked him a little to hear her say it out loud. But he nodded anxiously and continued. "I know that I've never felt like this before and I just want you to know that, you don't have to say anything - just.." He put his hand to her cheek and stroked it with his thumb. "Knowing that you know makes me feel better. God, I sound cheesy, don't I?"

"No, no of course not!" Sarah said suddenly waking up. She placed her hand on his while it was on her face and sighed. "I can't do this, do you understand?"

"Well no, not really." He admitted.

"Maybe one day you'll find out more about my past, Chuck. But I'm damaged goods, I can't do stuff like this, I have a job to do, it's all I have." Sarah stood up and checked her reflection briefly.

"You have me." He whispered so quietly that he thought she didn't hear as she was leaving.

As she was half way down the hall, she turned around and met his eyes. He saw that she was close to tears, but she shook her head and gave him a weak smile and walked into an empty room. _This isn't some television programme. _Chuck thought. _That's not what happens and you flick to the next scene and it's all forgotten about. _

He followed her.

"I'm not leaving it like that." He said boldly. "Just tell me Sarah, what's going through your mind?"

She turned away from him. "I'm scared of it all. I just want to forget it's happening."

"I guess I'll have to wait for you." He smiled, kissing her on the forehead.

She smiled as he walked away. He had no idea how much she wanted him and wanted to tell him she thought that she might be falling in love with him and wished to have his ring on her finger one day. When she thought of her future before, it only involved her next mission - but when she was with him, the world was full of a million dazzling possibilities.

She decided that next time, when she felt the time was right - she would tell him what was going through her mind.

**What she didn't count on in the next episode was Bryce showing up - yet again. What happened after Chuck told her he couldn't be with her in that devastating scene? **

**Find out soon and thank you so much for all your awesome reviews and I'd like to dedicate this to Coreymon77 - for supporting me in each story I've done. **

**Don't forget to review it means a lot to me - thanks!**

_Ps, If you've ever seen my first story which I writ a few months ago - God I can't believe that was me. I know I'm only 14 and whatever but I love writing and I'd have never discovered my passion if it wasn't for fanfiction._


	15. Chuck vs The Break Up

**You lot know as I do, there's ups as well as downs. This is a 'down' one. But we all know they get together in the end and this is just part of the rollercoaster. And this is not so much what happened after - it's more about feelings.**

_**Chuck versus The Break Up**_

_How can I do this? I'm about to possibly break her heart as well as my own. But what just happened back there? Like Bryce said, she hesitated and I nearly died. Next time - it could be her whose life in in danger. I know for a fact that I'm in love with her but I'm putting her in danger by loving her and I've just go to push myself away from her. Who knows, maybe that's what she wants too? _

Chuck sat fighting with his thoughts, with the gentle trickling of the fountain in the background. It calmed him a little, but he knew that Sarah was going to be here any minute and he still hadn't prepared what he was going to say. Well, he had a vague idea. Maybe she wouldn't react at all, or maybe she would argue with him and get angry. He didn't know which was worse.

Sarah was drawing near to Casa Bartowski and she was shaking like a newborn horse taking its' first steps. It was earlier she had realised with the gun in her hand, she was pointing it at the man she loved. She was in love with Chuck. She, Sarah Walker had fallen in love. She didn't even want to fight it, she wanted to embrace it with open arms.

She was going to tell him. No backing out, no hesitating, she was going to be brave. But did she really love him? How could she know for definite? Then she saw him sitting next to the fountain, a huge rush of love winded her so hard she almost fell over, her heart was pounding so hard against her chest that she could barely catch one single breath. Her knees wobbled as she walked closer.

Okay then, she loved him. Now that she had realised it everything that she did she analysed more than before - like the way she looked at him. She didn't just give normal eye contact - she gazed at him with open admiration and love. Was she too obvious? Suddenly, she snapped out of her head and remembered the real dilemma going on in front of her.

She saw that he was deep in thought, she took a deep breath and physically prepared herself for what was about to happen. She didn't know what the outcome was going to be, but she felt that if he knew, it would make her feel better. And, he might not reject her because he had said on a number of occasions what he felt about her. So this was it..

"Hey." She said, sounding a lot more calmer than she felt.

"Hey." He said, sounding jittery and nervous.

"Yeah, yeah - it's just there's umm.. I just had a couple of things to tell you before dinner." Though he so wished he didn't have to, he so wanted this not to happen.

"Yeah, me too." She couldn't help smiling, though it was quite a nervous smile.

"Look-" They said in unison then both laughed awkwardly. Both intending on crossing the others territory emotionally. Maybe more physically with Sarah's intentions.

"I'm sorry." Chuck smiled as Sarah laughed shakily. "Look, we both know how I feel about. So I'm just going to shoot - straight." He started.

This sounded promising to her, her heart was thudding with hope. She desperately wanted to talk now and tell him what she had been holding in for so long without realising it. It was the thing that woke her up at three in the morning in a cold sweat. She wouldn't know why this happened, but she couldn't go back to sleep until she looked at a picture of him on her phone and it sent her heart rate down and she was able to fall back to sleep.

"Sarah you're the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.." He held her gaze for a moment, knowing that he was building her up just to deflate her. "Your beautiful, your smart, you laugh at all my stupid jokes and you have this horrible habit of constantly saving my life."

Sarah felt so happy she could burst, she couldn't stop herself from smiling. Her heart swelled, she was surprised that she hadn't burst into song at that moment. But even though she was quiet, on the inside she was absolutely thrilled.

"The truth is your everything I thought I ever wanted and more." Chuck said, his eyes welling up. Sarah could feel fear start to ebb its' way into her stomach and punching away her happy vibe. He said he _thought _she was everything he had ever wanted. What? Was he going for redheads now or something? Because she would happily buy some hair dye.

She smiled uneasily hoping she was wrong. "The last few days all I can think about is our future together. About what's it's going to be like when I finally get the intersect out of my head and how we'll finally be together for real, no fake relationships, no covers, no lies, just us. " He paused for a moment and Sarah felt an intense feeling surge through her. _Please let this be leading somewhere good. _She tormented herself.

"But the more I think about it, the more I realise." This was killing him - saying this. "You and I can never have a future together." Sarah couldn't believe what she has hearing the happy bubble around her popped and she felt like her world was collapsing around her. She felt a lump rise in her throat, her eyes threatened to let tears escape.

"I fooled myself into thinking that we could, but the truth is.. We can't." _Don't say that Chuck. _Sarah thought as he struggled to get the words out. In his mind he was already working ways around what he said, finding quick solutions and hoping for the best. But no matter how much it hurt him he knew he was doing the right thing.

"Because even if he had a real relationship, it would never really be real. I'd still never know anything about you, your real name, your home town, your first love. Anything. And I want more than that, I want to be able to call you at the end of a bad day and tell you about some funny thing Morgan did and find out that I can't because you're off somewhere in Paraguay, quoting a revolution with a fork." He came to an abrupt stop, he was shocked to find she was almost crying as she tried to say something.

"I'm a normal guy, who wants a normal life. And amazing as you are Sarah Walker, we both know - you'll never be normal."

She thought it was ironic how she was just about to tell him she loved him and he had just virtually told her to back off. She felt worse than being wounded, she had been shot several times in her life and it had hurt less than this. She felt like crawling into bed and crying her eyes out. She knew that wasn't what Sarah Walker did, but she wasn't Sarah Walker, that wasn't her real name. She could have a family, a life and if she was normal she could have met him under normal circumstances instead of being in this awkward, complicated mess.

_Don't cry in front of him, don't cry. "_You know, someday when the intersect is out of your head and you have the life you always wanted you'll forget all about me." She gazed sadly into his eyes as her heart split into two.

"I seriously doubt that." He replied and he would never, ever forget Sarah Walker as long as he lived. He felt like he was going to cry, but men didn't do that. He mentally composed himself and tried to toughen up a bit.

She touched the side of his face. "Come on we'd better get inside- they're waiting for us." Her voice was barely a whisper and broke with emotion on her last word.

She stood up and looked upwards, trying to push her tears away. A year ago she would have never gotten like this, look at her now. She have rather died that moment than let him see her cry but she was already well on her way. Trying to push away her tears was like pushing away a much stronger force it was much harder than killing Russia's Top Assassin or America's Most Wanted.

Chuck came next to her and they walked miserably to the front door together. They locked eyes for a moment all the haze of emotion captured into one longing glance. They turned back to face the door and planted fake smiles on their faces.

They came into the room and Ellie rushed over to Sarah and Chuck had a brief conversation with Awesome. He watched as Sarah poured over a wedding book with Ellie and almost as if she could feel his eyes on her - she slowly turned around and caught his eye. She stared intensely at him as she felt the frisson fly through the air and made her want to kiss him, but fighting the insistent look in his eyes, she yanked her gaze away from his and carried on what she was doing.

Ten minutes later she felt like a volcano exploding. She excused herself to go to the bathroom and locked herself in. She let herself howl softly into a towel and cried her heart out. She didn't know why it hurt so much, she physically ached all over. She felt her heart seize up like she was having a heart attack. She had no idea it could hurt this much.

She wasn't going to let it carry on hurting her, because one day, she didn't know how - but she was going to get him - one way or another.

**Dun, dun, dun! Sorry to lower your moods guys, but this was a pretty sad one to do. I don't know what it is about them two that makes me care so much but it's more than a programme to me. It's not just because I'm a teenager but I love writing about them!**

**Please review!**

**PS I have never had my heart broken, did I do it okay though?**


	16. Chuck versus The Cougars

**Chuck vs. The Cougars**

"Isn't it supposed to be a raw_ steak?" _Sarah giggled, looking downwards at the raw burger.

Chuck grinned. "Not on a Buy More salary, thank you very much. I did however, scrape together enough cash to get you a cooked one as well, medium rare with-"

"Extra pickles." They said in unison.

"Come on, who do you think you're dealing with here?" Chuck joked.

"Well, I never doubted you, Special Agent Charles Carmichael." She smiled.

Chuck sighed contentedly. "So I guess the big secret about you is that you used to be just a typical high school student. I wish I knew what happened to change that."

Sarah returned his smile and suddenly it all came flooding back to her. Racing through the forest and finding her father's money, then getting interrupted by the very man who put her father in prison and the same person who introduced her to the CIA. He reminded her of all her past names - never quite getting to her real one, but he was the person who gave her the name Sarah Walker. The person she was supposed to be now.

The funny thing was though, as parts of her past came back, Chuck kept at chipping her so that she was worse off emotionally, but better shaped as a person. She was like playdough, constantly being able to change and be reshaped but once she was left alone she would turn hard again. She was not being left alone though, she didn't realise it yet but she was becoming like her old self, but older, wiser and with more experience.

"Sarah Walker.. Hello?" Chuck called.

"Okay, fine. I'll answer one question about my past, you've earned that much." She replied as he looked thoughtful for a moment.

"No thanks." He paused. "I don't need to know more about who you were, because as much as you don't think so.. I know who you are." She smiled. "The girl I'd like to share a cheese burger with."

She rested her head on the back of her arm and smiled down at him, hoping that she wasn't giving herself away completely.

"Should I get a knife?" He asked.

"That won't be necessary." She replied, pulling a knife out from a strap around her leg.

"That's awesome." Chuck said sarcastically. "And a little disturbing." She giggled.

He cut it. "Do you want the bigger half or..?"

"No, you can." She smiled sheepishly. "I'm actually not that hungry."

"Oh, come on, you've hardly eaten all day, look at you, you're withering away into nothing." He half joked.

"Shut up." She hit him playfully but bit into her burger all the same.

She hated him watching her eat, she felt greedy and disgusting and she didn't want to destroy that perfect perception he hopefully had on her. She turned so that she was looking out of the window and staring down at the tiny people dotted about in all directions, each living out their own dramas. She didn't know why she was thinking that, maybe it was because she just wanted to be that, to be just another person in a crowd. But only, not when it came to Chuck, she wanted to stand out so that she was the only person in his world. That was what it was like for her, it was like everybody else in one section and Chuck in one of his own, brilliant, bright and shining - that's how he looked every time she saw him.

She knew that he had practically told her that they would never have a future together a few days ago - but she couldn't - wouldn't, let herself think like that because if she did there wouldn't ever be a point in carrying on. A year ago she would have snarled at herself now, a year ago she would only trudge from mission to mission without a second thought. How things change.

Sarah said something that had been playing in her mind for a while. "So, what were _you_ like in school?"

"Me?" He twitched his nose a little bit. "I was your classic geek. I thought comic books and video games were my life, some kids had a go at me for being really lanky, surprise, surprise. Morgan and I stuck together through all of it."

"Short and sweet." Sarah smiled. "There's got to be more to it than that, surely? What about that girlfriend you had in tenth grade?"

Chuck blushed a little. "Ah, my first love." He brushed it off a little vaguely. "Yeah it lasted a couple of months."

"Come on!" She slapped him playfully. "How did you get together?"

"Honestly? I can't remember much about her, but her name was Sam.." He saw Sarah flinch a little but continued nevertheless. "I'd never really had a girlfriend before her. She used to live really close to me and we would walk home together and one day I was babbling on about a Spiderman comic - God knows she must have wanted to punch my face in. Christ - I was _fifteen _for god's sake!

"Then she reached out and put her hand in mine and I turned to face her because I was a little confused - she kissed me there and I remember thinking that I couldn't believe it was happening to me." He smiled at the memory.

"That's sweet." Sarah grinned a little forcefully. She didn't know why but she found herself regretting the fact that it wasn't her who was his first love, she wasn't jealous of something that had happened over ten years ago - was she? "Why did you ever break up?"

"We wanted different things, I wanted to stay in on a Saturday night and play video games whereas she wanted to go out. It was more than that but things just kind of frazzled out. Dare I ask about your first love?"

Sarah thought for a moment, she hadn't really been in love properly before this but she didn't want to say that, obviously. "Ah, there were a few boys in high school, nobody special.." She felt her mind drifting back a little. "My friends and I used to always go to the beach after school, chatting up all the boys.." She trailed off. She was remembering the best (of many) schools she had been to. It was when she was fifteen and she used to ride her bike all the way down to the seashore and stay out all night with her friends. It was the best summer of her life before her father had moved on to his next con.

Chuck could see she was regretting it already so he didn't say anything. It did hurt a little that she didn't trust him as much as she should. He looked at her now, her eyes shining with reminisce, so beautiful and blue he wanted to stare into them all day, these two things made him fall in love with her in the first place. He loved the way her eyes told him a story, he felt as if he knew her just in one glance. He remembered one of the first times he had looked into them - on the beach.

"Fancy a walk along the beach?" He asked curiously. Sarah looked at him quizzically for a moment. "No! Not like that, you know, clear the cobwebs and all that."

She smiled as he blushed. "Sure."

She stood up, pulled him by the hand and grabbed her keys before pulling the door shut behind her.

As easy as that, twenty minutes later they were strolling along the seashore. Sarah took off her shoes and let her toes slip into the cool sand as she gazed over at the sparkling ocean, contrasting perfectly with the suburban horizon.

"It's weird." Chuck announced, stopping midstep.

"What is?" Sarah turned to face him as her hair blew across her reddening face.

"You know, when we first came here together - it's so different now, I'm so different and you are."

"What do you mean?" She asked, looking into his eyes and feeling a wave of emotions shoot into her body.

"I had only just got the intersect into my brain and I was scared and alone, and also very nerdy -"

"You still are!" Sarah laughed.

"Shut up! I embrace my nerdiness with a passion. Anyway, now I feel like I know the world a lot better now and I've grown up a hell of a lot. And you, Sarah, you've become like a different person, you're so much more open now."

"I am?" She could already feel like she was sectioning him off again, her walls closing in and then being hammered, locked and barricaded shut.

"Definitely." He was worried for a moment, he could see her glancing downwards at the sand and shuffling her feet awkwardly from side to side. Suddenly, he grabbed her hands.

"Sarah, just because I know a bit more about you and you're opening up to me, does not mean you're going to get hurt." He pleaded.

She felt a lump rise in her throat but she couldn't fight it, she felt a prickling sensation in her eyes and had to look down at the floor.

"I know. I'm just not used to it." She said, her voice cracking slightly.

Her held her hands tighter and let himself feel what was happening to him, it felt good. He had never wanted anything more in his life, everything he ever wanted was in his hands right now and he was damned if he was ever going to let her go. She finally composed herself and looked up into his eyes, feeling like somebody had just shoved Pandora's box into her stomach. She felt like something magical was happening and somewhere above them there were stars whizzing and dazzling in celebration.

She sniffed and felt herself visibly shaking at his embrace. She had never felt so in love with anybody in all of her life. Love, a short four lettered insignificant word that could make one person feel so much. When she was younger she used to think, love is for suckers. She remembered back to times when she had felt low and wanted everything to go away, then she would think of Chuck and everything would feel worthwhile again. She didn't feel cursed anymore to be in love, she felt lucky.

Chuck let her hands fall back to her sides hesitantly, suddenly her mood switched and she felt deliriously happy, she gave him a devilish grin and headed in the opposite direction, sprinting frantically.

"Sarah?" Chuck tilted his head. She turned back and grinned at him again.

_Oh, so that's how you want to play it? _Chuck thought.

He knew he could be fast when he wanted to, he set off, his arms and legs pumping rhythmically and his heart beat speeding up quickly. Soon, he wasn't far behind her and the tide was coming in and the waves were crashing at his feet.

Sarah was getting tired but carried on relentlessly. She could feel him coming up behind her and tried to outrun him but suddenly he was right behind her, he grabbed her waist and they both fell into the shallow water in a tumble.

Chuck was panting on top of Sarah, his hair dripping and dots dancing in front of his eyes. He looked down at her and felt electricity fly between them, he stroked her cheek with his thumb and pushed the damp hair out of her eyes. He moved towards her and just as he was about to do something he may have regretted, a giant wave came crashing down on the both of them.

Shocked and with all the oxygen winded out of their bodies, they swam to the surface, laughing hysterically. Sarah swam towards Chuck and splashed him lightly.

"Come on!" She breathed heavily. "Let's get out of here."

"Okay." He agreed as he began to feel cold.

"Hang on.. I've.. Ouch! I've cut my foot on a rock or something!" Sarah gasped in pain, even though she had been injured a hundred time worse than this. "I don't think I can swim, it hurts too much." She admitted, pain surging through the bottom half of her foot.

He sighed sarcastically. "Come here then." He opened up his arms as she hesitantly put herself into his embrace. He picked her up, she was much lighter than he thought she would be. She put her arms around his neck and looked up at him. She mouthed the word thank you at him.

He looked down at her foot and noticed blood seeping down it and dripping into the sea, he winced. "Ouch, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She wanted to stay like this for just a moment, locked in his arms. He trudged towards the shore and gently lay her onto the sand, much to her chagrin.

His eyes met hers for a moment as he was trying to study her injury. Her pupils dilated and she felt the air slowly going out of her until she was almost gasping for breath.

And with only intense eye contact, she tried silently to tell him she loved him.

_Thanks for all of your great reviews so far. Ugh I'm getting braces tomorrow - yay. Not. __**Please review! (: **_


	17. Chuck versus Tom Sawyer

**Chuck versus Tom Sawyer **

Chuck carried two beers out on a tray and he saw Sarah facing him, leaning against the wall with an array of stars dotted behind her. He was memorized, slowly, he tried to prevent the tray from wobbling to the floor due to his quaking knees.

"Well, thanks for my fake diploma." He said, it came out less enthusiastic than he felt.

"What do you mean?" She queried.

"I get it, you know. You had one of your CIA pals to doctor it up to get Ellie off of my case." He replied.

She gazed at him, her eyes sparkling in the moonlight. She couldn't wait to tell him. "It's real Chuck."

He stared back disbelievingly. "Come on." He raised his eyebrows.

"I'm serious, you graduated." She smiled.

"What about my last twelve credits?" He asked.

"Well, Casey and I decided that your exceptional field service ought to count for something. And.. Stanford agreed."

Chuck couldn't believe she had actually convinced Casey and he was touched that she had gone through all that trouble for him. Maybe she cared a little bit.

"Huh. And by exceptional you mean like, uh, I don't know - decrypting weapons satellites-"

"Electrical engineering." Sarah added happily.

"Or running away from exploding games of Missal Command…"

"Physical education." She intervened again.

He couldn't stop a smile from exploding on his face, he felt so happy and so, so in love. He loved doing everything with her but especially just talking like this. He pretended sometimes that when they hung out after work, he was really coming home to her after a long day, like now. He pretended they were just having a beer outside their bedroom, where their shoes were aligned perfectly together next to the bed and her toothbrush was leaning on his. It was stuff like this that kept him going on his down days.

He carried on staring into her eyes - just lost for a moment. Before he started to look gormless, he clanked his glass against hers and grinned. They each took a sip from their beer in unison. They were both just glaring at one another, almost being pulled together by electricity and at the same time each trying to stop themselves from racing towards the other and tearing the clothes off one another.

"Thank you." He whispered.

She smiled for a brief moment before turning towards the sky. "See that star on the horizon?" Chuck turned to look. She pointed it out. "That's the Air Force bouncing Morimoto's satellite off the atmosphere and burning it up, make a wish." She added. "It's yours."

She looked at him for a moment, gazing at the 'star', he was fascinated. He knew what it was up close, but faraway it looked beautiful and silver, so seemingly tiny but able to grant one desperate person's wish. If they were lucky.

He didn't believe in that sort of thing, but he wanted to. He didn't even have to think. _I wish Sarah and I could be together. _He wished it hard, hoping that it was hard enough to come true one day. Sure, he felt like a kid nursing a childish dream, but he had never wanted anything more. He was crazy in love. He turned to look at her for a moment, as if savouring the image of her. He turned back to the sky and wondered what she was wishing for.

Sarah was lost in her own world of wishing. All to do with Chuck, of course. But she couldn't decide on one wish, whether to wish that she wasn't so messed up so they could just be together, or wish things were more simple or that she just hadn't met him at all - but she certainly didn't want that. She remembered back to that moment they had first shared on the beach - a time when things were still so confusing in her head.

_Chuck didn't think that he had ever seen anyone as beautiful as Sarah. Her hair was a golden-blonde colour that shone in the evening sunlight, her eyes - those eyes, so gorgeous and blue with a lifetime of stories behind them. And she was the perfect height, tall with willowy, slender limbs - the type of body that only supermodels had, like the ones in the magazines Ellie had bought as a teenager._

_Sarah watched Chuck scanning her body upwards and downwards and felt unfamiliarly self-conscious, like any woman, she had things that she didn't like about her body. She never usually felt this nervous though, she had no idea why but she felt excited and nauseous at the same time._

_She loved the way Chuck's hair was wild and unruly but didn't clash with his kind, chocolate eyes. And yes, he was nerdy, but she found that so attractive. Though, she didn't actually recognise her feelings yet, but they were slowly moulding into a crush. Not a childish, pathetic crush where she could write his name over and over again and doodle hearts next to it, but something that might develop into an emotional obsession_.

She sighed deeply. She was past all of that now, some days she felt angry at herself, for being so willing and falling so easy. She didn't regret it one bit, though. Falling in love with him felt so delicious and because it was forbidden she felt even more drawn to him - like a moth to a flame. Sarah turned in the moonlight and looked at him, his eyes transfixed on the beautiful night sky in front of him.

Before, she had just wanted to kiss him so badly that she had to hold her feet on the ground to prevent herself from walking. But now, she wanted to run her hands through his hair and wraps her arms around his waist and squeeze him until all the emotions she was feeling would just explode out into the atmosphere and she would feel satisfied for a second. It wasn't just that, she wanted to take his hand and dive under the covers with him and just make love to him.

The want was too intense, she felt as if she was sending zinging signs through the air of sexual frustration and unsatisfied passion. He turned and caught here gaze, her eyes were shining with something - he swore it was want, but then he was never too good on reading people. He felt a strange sensation stirring in him, he forced himself to turn away, before his body betrayed him.

Sarah felt a little rejected but she took in all in her stride and coolly took another daring sip of her beer. She could feel her heart beating faster and faster, she silently pleaded with it and hoped it wouldn't soar out of her chest and into his.

"What did you wish for?" His voice sounded as if it was coming from somewhere far away. "And don't say you can't tell me, otherwise it won't come true!"

She pondered the thought for a second or two. "I didn't wish for anything." She informed him.

"You did, I saw you closing your eyes tight and clenching your fists, classic signs of wishing." He said cleverly.

"Fine, okay, I did. But I wouldn't ever tell you." She smirked.

"You wouldn't tell me unless the wish involved me. Did it involve me?"

"No." She turned violently red in the darkness. "It's private. What did you wish for?"

"Ah, give and you shall receive, Miss. Walker." He half joked.

"Did _your _wish involve me?" She asked unseriously.

He took a breath as if considering his answer. "As a matter of a fact, it did."

She had to grip the edge of the wall for support, she felt giddy, elated, like she was soaring up around the city and then orbiting it a couple of times. She brought herself to look into his eyes, it was scary. His eyes had turned big and black, his mouth was parted and he was leaning closer a little bit, as if expecting a reply of some sort.

She came a little closer to him, she was aware that her facial expression was mirroring his and she couldn't control it.

"What about me?" She whispered, strangely turned on.

"You know, Sarah, I probably shouldn't tell you. It'll just lead to things getting complicated and you don't want that, do you?" He said honestly.

In truth, she had been living in complicated circumstances for the past year and she was kind of used to having her head messed up, but she guessed that he was right. "No." She sighed.

Several beers later they were both sprawled out on his bed watching Tron, and admitted Sarah was quite into it. The film couldn't quite take Chuck's mind off of what was going on around him but it certainly helped. He looked at her, he found her so attractive whilst she was just glaring at the television, with her lips slightly parted and her eyes wide.

Ellie knocked on the door when the film had finished, she asked if it was okay that she came in. Chuck and Sarah looked at one another frantically, they were not sitting like a couple should, they were on opposite sides of the bed and sitting boldly upright in an uncomfortable fashion. Sarah tilted her head side ways, inviting him over to her. Obediently, he came closer to her and she wrapped his arm around her hurriedly so that she was laying on his chest.

"Hey guys." Ellie said. "I guess your staying the night for once, Sarah."

"What? She's not.." Chuck started but stopped when Sarah pinched his back and glared at him. "She's not going anywhere."

"Yeah, I figured as much, did you know that it's almost midnight already?" Ellie looked at her watch as she watched Chuck and Sarah exchange very surprised glances. "Well, night."

"Night." They both said in unison.

"Sorry Chuck." Sarah apologised when she heard Ellie's footsteps disappearing into the distance. "We have to now, for the cover, I've over ever stayed over, like, once anyway. And we've been 'going out' for over a year."

"I know, I'll uh, sleep on the-"

"Your not sleeping on the floor." She said softly, but with a sharp edge to her voice. "We're both adults right?" She smiled.

He nodded. "You can borrow a T-shirt if you like."

"Thank you." She replied, getting to her feet and walking over to his wardrobe. She picked out a red T-shirt that said 'I love Nerds' on it and raised an eyebrow.

"You love Nerds?" She asked.

"In some strange way, I guess I'm saying I love myself." He smirked. "Ellie and Awesome got it for me when they came back from New York - though I have no idea why they chose this one."

She laughed. She eyed the door up nervously, wondering where to get changed.

Chuck caught her anxious eye. "I'll hide under the duvet, I promise I won't look."

She considered it for a second. "Okay, please don't look."

"I won't." He buried himself under the blanket and curled himself up and through no fault of his own, there was a tiny gap left in there that gave him the perfect view of Sarah. He could see her, looking over at the bed and deciding it was safe, beginning to pull her clothes off. He couldn't look, could he? He closed his eyes for a moment, but the temptation was too much.

He hoped that he wasn't behaving like a pervert, but he couldn't help himself. He shuddered with delight as she pulled off her jeans to reveal her silk underwear and long, luscious legs. Next, she pulled off her T-shirt and he saw her matching bra and tanned, concave stomach. She was absolutely gorgeous and he couldn't believe how beautiful she was.

"I'm done." She called as he lifted the duvet and saw her standing there in his T-shirt swaying sexily at her knees. "I'm just going to wash and stuff."

She walked into the bathroom and pushed the door so that it was only slightly ajar, she sneakily borrowed his toothbrush, though would never, ever admit to it and then she saw him through the gap of the door, taking his t-shirt off - she gasped to herself as she let herself watch him pulling off his trousers and revealing his boxers, she couldn't tare her eyes away as his shirt rose a little so that she could see the brown hairs sweeping up his stomach.

She felt as if she was doing something horrendous, but it felt good.

Chuck climbed into bed, feeling both physically and mentally exhausted. Sarah climbed in beside him and they spoke for about fifteen minutes or so about their day and then said goodnight and Chuck switched off the light.

In the darkness about twenty minutes later, Chuck couldn't sleep with this gorgeous woman in his bed and felt his hand being drawn to hers. He prayed she was asleep and ran his hand up and down her arm. Sarah was indeed awake and was shocked at the sensation of his touch, her skin prickled and her whole body turned hot with lust.

He must have thought she was asleep. She continued to breathe deeply as her hand settled over hers. She took a chance and rolled over so that her head was on his chest and then she didn't move and carried on snoring lightly.

Chuck didn't know whether she was asleep or not but he loved the feeling of this. He placed his arms around her and held her tight like the world was about to end. And only when his heart stopped racing so much and he could feel hers had slowed down too, did he let himself fall asleep.

**Hey, thanks for all the brilliant reviews. I have got the braces, ouch. Please review, it means alot to me! **


	18. Chuck versus The Ex

_As much as I love the fluff (which I so do), I introduce Sarah's sworn enemy, Jill! (Cue evil music)This chapters' mostly about Sarah's newfound jealously, something I don't think she's properly experienced before now._

_I really don't want to do Chuck's POV in this, I dislike his actions in this episode. But I will._

**Chapter 18 (**_**Whoa)**_

All that Sarah could see were bright yellow coats, marked with FBI on them, she wondered what the hell was going on in that room and she prayed Chuck was okay. Suddenly the door opened, followed by a puff of smoke and Chuck floated into the room with a huge grin on his face. She had never felt so proud of anyone in all of her life, she tried to see him properly but he was lost in a crowd of praises.

Suddenly he caught her eye for a moment and she gave him her biggest smile ever - but it wasn't forced, she couldn't help it. Then, his attention was diverted by Jill. She watched at they spoke a little and exchanged meaningful glances, but then she couldn't see anymore, people kept walking past. She told herself everything would be okay, it always was.

Then, he leant towards her and her heart stopped for a moment. No - he couldn't, he wouldn't. Not the person that broke his heart, that took him years and years to get over, and clearly he still wasn't. But Chuck couldn't do that to her - she felt it - her heart was about to shatter. Chuck brought his head closer to Jill's and suddenly they were kissing. No, no, no. This wasn't happening.

How could he do this to her? The man she was deeply in love with had taken her heart, tore it to pieces and stamped on it some more. You didn't do that to somebody you love. She couldn't prevent the lump from rising in her throat, and the tears stinging in her eyes. She had to turn and walk away, she felt for her car keys in her pocket, she lifted them out into her hand and walked out.

Chuck couldn't believe he was kissing Jill, the woman who had indeed made his life a misery for the past five years. He didn't feel any of what he felt with Sarah - it was just an impulse but still impossible to turn away from, he waited for what he felt with Sarah to come naturally with Jill but it didn't. There was barely a glint of light let alone a spark.

With Sarah he felt on top of the world, like anything could happen. His heart would pound against his chest and butterflies would flutter all over his body so that he had goosebumps, he didn't know how he knew, but he just knew they had something special. It was so intense, he felt it with her, she was the _one. _But if something like that only came once in a lifetime, what the hell was he doing with Jill?

Gradually, he pulled away, he sort of forgot she was there. And then the realisation hit him like a punch in the face. Sarah had been there, she had seen him. Did he just forget? He couldn't believe what a dick he'd been. There he was moping about how in love with Sarah he was and then he went and kissed Jill. He didn't mean to - he just liked the feeling of being somewhere familiar, he thought that if he kissed her it would feel like it did in the old days, but it didn't it felt wrong, he was thinking about Sarah the whole time.

Suddenly he saw her, pushing her way through the crowds, heading in the direction of her car, her shoulders were low and sloping, her hands almost dragging at her sides like an ape and her walk was sad and disappointed. He knew her so well that he could just tell she was hurt, he felt a sharp stab of guilt knowing that he'd hurt her but also he guiltily felt a little rush knowing that she cared.

Sarah felt tears pelting down her face, hot and wet and taking her carefully applied make up with it. She just kept seeing the image in her head over and over again like a movie, she almost punched her own head in frustration, she wanted to stop torturing herself, but it was like some evil part of her wanted to see it, so she had no control. Each time this happened a fatal waterfall of hurt would flood down her and attack all of her vital organs, it was worse that a shotgun to her chest, at least that could be fixed - she couldn't.

She regretted falling in love right now. She forgot it came with all this hurt, but it wasn't like a childish crush it was much more intense, it wasn't like when she was a teenager and a boy hurt her and she would cry for a few days at least. But it hurt so much more than that and she felt her whole body aching, she just wanted the ground to swallow her up.

Her tears were coming thick and fast now as the lump in her throat rose and broke, she found herself full blown sobbing, and then she felt a hand on her shoulder but she knew who it was without even turning around. She couldn't believe that she, super tough spy Sarah Walker had let herself cry, but she was damned if he was going to see her like this.

"Chuck." She said staring at the ground.

"Sarah, I don't know what happened I-" He started.

Suddenly anger overcame her like a wave. She embraced it with a passion. "You don't need to explain." She said angrily, still staring at the rectangle slabs, aligned perfectly together to create her getaway path, because that was all she wanted right now was to be alone. She had only just come to terms with being emotional, she couldn't take the pain of sharing it with him.

"But I do! I honestly don't know what came over me!" He tried to explain.

She looked up finally. "Why should you though? It's not like we're together or anything! Why the hell would I care? Are you so arrogant that you think I would give a flying crap? You kiss whoever you want, it had nothing to do with me!" She shouted, but then took a step back, surprised at her own anger, of course she hadn't meant a word of it. She was just so incredibly wounded, she needed to get all the hurt out.

Chuck was very taken back by this, though if she had done the same to him, boy, would he be much worse. "Don't say that, I know you're doing it because your angry!"

"I'm not. You're just my asset and nothing more than that, all you are to me is part of the job." She snapped. Chuck felt a sharp stab in his chest, he knew she was lying, she had to be.

"You don't mean it." He replied feebly.

"I do, you stupid dick!" She screamed.

"Fine!" He felt anger rising in him despite his circumstances. "You know what? Jill's much better for me than you would ever be!"

"Just piss off!" She spat.

"Gladly." He turned and headed back and immediately felt deflated. He wanted to turn around and shout that he hadn't meant any of it. He loved her with every fibre of his being, why did he say that? He hoped she knew he hadn't meant a word of it. Then though, maybe he was better for Jill, it was far less complicated, maybe Sarah had meant what she said. He sighed and went in search for Jill.

Sarah sat in her car and cried angry tears. She felt frustrated, worse than before because she felt angry _and _like crying her heart out. She punched her steering wheel and the tears sprang again. She prayed so, so hard that this could be fixed.

**Again, it's all part of the rollercoaster. I **_**am **_**a die hard Charah shipper but everyone has their arguments right? Buckle up, I think we're halfway through the ride. ****Review please! **


	19. Chuck versus The Fat Lady

**Chapter 19**

Chuck smiled at Sarah knowingly, he felt good inside that she was impressed by the way he had opened the box.

"Let's see what we got." He grinned.

He opened it and revealed something strange, Chuck looked at Sarah again and Casey stood by the door, wondering what on earth was in there. Shocking them all, it suddenly sprayed out a mass of pink gas and getting it all over the them both.

"Casey, gas!" Sarah shouted.

"Get it off, get it off of me!" Chuck shouted as Casey slammed the door. Suddenly Sarah started to pull at his T-shirt, he looked at her with a bewildered expression amongst all the drama.

"Take your clothes off and get in the shower now, quick!" She screamed as they both pulled their clothes off. In any other circumstances Chuck might have felt excited but he was scared that he was going to die, yet he didn't feel any different. Yet.

Suddenly they were both in their underwear and sprinted towards the shower. Chuck didn't even have time to capture the sweet essence of his surroundings before being pushed into the shower, it was almost like a blur to him. Until now.

"Cold!" Chuck whimpered. "Cold, cold, cold, cold!"

"Use the soap!" Sarah instructed. She handed him the soap, but it slipped in his hand as her tried to get a firm grasp on it. He accidentally touched back and flat, concave stomach and she shuddered amongst all the haste, she felt goose bumps pricking on her wet skin, but she pushed all those feelings away.

"Sorry!" He stuttered. "I'm not trying to.."

She spoke over him and started to wash his face. "Wash your face properly." For the first time in a long while Sarah was actually scared, scared for them both, she didn't know if the water would even wash away the poison, what if he died without him knowing she loved him? What if they both died in pain, she thought of all the things she hadn't done, all the things she hadn't said.

Maybe she'd built up an immune system to it and maybe she would survive, but Chuck wouldn't. What if he died, what if she lost him? Even though he liked that bitch Jill, she still couldn't find it in her heart to hate him.

"And your hair!" She rubbed her hands through his hair, so that his face shook into her breasts, it was unintentional though, of course. He told himself not to look and that he had a girlfriend now but he couldn't stop the feeling arising in him, but he was scared to die. He didn't care what happened to himself, he just wanted Sarah to live. He felt so fiercely scared of her dying that he didn't even consider his own fate.

He ran his hands through his hair as the cold shower flattened his hair with water and he looked at Sarah, as if seeing her for the first time. Her body, just like her face, was gorgeous, her legs were long, thin and glistening with the wetness of the water, her stomach was flat and toned and the rest of her made him shudder in delight. He forgot about Jill, Jill who?

Still though, with the air of doomsday around him, he offered to wash her back and she hurriedly turned around and his hand lingered over her bra strap for a moment. He was overwhelmed with love and arousal, he stroked the area of skin around her bra and he couldn't breathe, all he could do was stare as the oxygen pumped out of him, he felt dizzy.

Sarah felt his hands on her, she knew he wasn't washing her. She felt the tenderness of his touch and suddenly her whole body went weak with want, she couldn't control it, it completely spasmed out of her reach. She wanted him so much it was unreal, she loved him so much that moment even though he was behind her, she could still feel her heart pumping quickly and the whirl in her stomach told her all she needed to know.

She couldn't control what happened next, she felt a magnetic force spinning her around and suddenly she was looking into his eyes just like it was the first time - it was new and scary and a wave of arousal washed over both of them. His eyes looked into hers and ran down her body just like the water was, hot and lingering. He felt a jolt convulse him and then he wasn't himself anymore, it sounded weird to him but he felt that their thoughts were in complete sync . Like they were merging into one.

Their connection was vastly intense, Sarah copied Chuck's motions and she looked him up and down, and to her he was perfect. Maybe he was to everyone, she didn't think that she could use the word beautiful to describe a man, but it was just the world she could think of for his self image. Or a word she had used before, amazing.

Their eyes met again and electricity zinged through the little room. He felt himself drawing closer to her as she did the same, the heat was building as was the want. He needed to stop himself before he got to far, but he found himself lacking self control. His lips came closer to hers as she gazed into his eyes, her pupils dilated with want.

Just as they were about to do something they may or may not have regretted, the door went. Chuck wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed. His heart rate didn't slow though and neither did hers. She couldn't raise her eyes from the floor and looked away from him, she stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel without looking up.

Suddenly the thought that he may die hit him again and he had missed another opportunity, he sighed to himself as he saw Sarah retreat into her shell again and almost physically saw her assume the role of his handler again at the risk of Casey walking in on them, already she was standing taller and stronger, her amour was up again, but not as padded as before.

"That's Casey, we have no time to loose!" She shouted like an army cadet.

Chuck raced to the door with dripping wet hair as Sarah walked out of the bathroom in her underwear, she was shocked to see Jill, standing there looking confused and then - wrongly putting two and two together and getting three. Chuck meekly tried to explain but got nowhere. She said that she knew it and walked away as he shouted after her.

Chuck closed the door behind him sadly and Sarah guiltily felt glad that the evil brunette was gone. She wanted Jill to think they had been doing something they shouldn't. She sighed inwardly and began to get dressed, she caught his eye as she was pulling her jeans on and felt a familiar pang. She forced it away and then the door flung open to reveal it was Casey - who would really decide their fate.

**Review please! All the ones I've had so far have been awesome, I never expected something like that! Keep them coming! It's amazing how I was only just fourteen this year when I started doing this and now because I've written I feel older somehow - I can't believe I'm going to be fifteen in less than four months. Time goes so fast!**


	20. Chuck versus The Gravitron

**Chapter 20**

Where was she? Sarah sprinted through the hallways of the Buy More, there was no sign of Jill anywhere and no sign of Chuck. Suddenly a jolt shot through her chest. He wouldn't have run off with her, would he? Please God no, he wouldn't do that. She stopped herself thinking it, she shouldn't analyse the facts until she had some.

Suddenly a thought hit her, she looked at the fire exit with a new sense of hope and opened it. There was Chuck standing over a Nerd Herder and Jill was in the car, but the windows were shut, he looked pained and angry at the same time.

"What going on?" She heard Jill say. "Don't do this to me, Chuck!"

"You should know, I wanted to help you! I was going to let you get away.." He said, she could tell he was fighting back his anger.

"Chuck no!" She read Jill's lips, her expression showed Sarah that she had not expected this at all. Jill always thought Chuck was a pushover, someone who she could always go back to, but oh no, not now.

"But you were about to kill Sarah, you made that decision for me. You're under arrest Jill, and I'm breaking up with you!" He said loudly. Sarah could only listen in amazement as her heart thumped rhythmically in time with the intensity of the scene, he turned and walked away. Sarah couldn't believe that he'd ditched the former 'love of his life' because of her. For the first time in her life she felt special and like she was wanted, she eagerly accepted the warm satisfactory glow that overcame her.

She pressed the speak button on her watch. "Casey, Jill's here.. Outside, where all the Nerd Herders are parked! Look, I have too see if Chuck's okay, he put the car to arrest mode so she can't escape! But she's started shouting…"

"Okay! Alright, I'll be there in ten seconds!" Casey replied with a huff in his tone.

Sarah looked at Chuck walking away and quickly increased her pace, but then slowing down slightly so that she was able to hold eye contact with the son-of-a-bitch that had broke Chuck's heart yet again. Jill glared back and stopped shouting, she squinted her eyes slightly and her mouth turned even more downward.

"Look after him." She mouthed.

"I will, but you can rot in hell." Sarah replied angrily, and continued to walk but not forgetting to smugly stick her middle finger up behind her.

"Chuck!" Sarah called as he reached the Buy More parking lott, he span around, his face pale and his eyes narrow and bloodshot. She could tell he was beating himself up over it, she could see the hurt in his eyes and the dragging of his limbs told Sarah that he was almost regretting it.

"Chuck." She said, softer this time. "You did what you had to do.. If you hadn't done that she'd probably kill you just to save herself, she's not the person you used to know.. She's bad." She pleaded silently with him, just to believe her now and not waste time over that sad excuse of a person. She wanted to scream at him_, I swear you used to want me, but now is all you want her? Or the person she used to be?_

"I know, I know. It won't stop me beating myself up over it though.. Why is it always me - I just want someone who loves me as much as I love them - and that's it - as simple as that. Me and her.. Just easy as ABC." He was looking at her now with fresh eyes, almost glistening with intensity, it looked as though he wanted to say something but pushed it back.

"Maybe one day it can be.." Sarah sighed. And suddenly she was reliving what had happened earlier.

_Chuck came racing into castle, his face serious and pale._

"_What? What is it?" Sarah asked, putting down her now unimportant paperwork._

"_Sarah, I need your help. How am I going to survive tonight?" Chuck asked. Referring to how he was going to have to go on a fake date with Jill when he knew that she was a Fulcrum agent, he wasn't a good liar at all, how the hell could he do this?_

"_Well, a good spy knows what their mark wants." She said knowledgably. "What do we know about Jill? She's a spy and she wants you to be under her spell.."_

"_Okay how do I do that?" He wondered aloud. _

"_She's going to test you. When the time is right she is going to make certain that she has you. That you love her." Sarah almost shuddered at using the word love aloud, even though it was nothing to do with her._

"_How's she going to do that?" He felt like a schoolchild, asking the teacher questions about the facts of life._

"_When you're most exposed - emotionally exposed. Like an intimate moment, say a kiss." She stood up so that she was standing close to him and he was lost for words, for once she was doing all the talking and he listened, just silently satisfied that she was helping him, that she was next to him._

"_Imagine that I am Jill. The moment is romantic, she's close to you, she's looking into your eyes.." Sarah said. She was scaring herself now, acting all dominant - like she was just acting as his handler for once and wasn't actually filled with a range of emotions at that point, circling her like a swarm of bees, dancing around her and not going away._

_She looked into his eyes and he stared down into hers, she felt a surge through her stomach and took a deep breath, forcing herself to continue. _

"_I got that." Chuck stuttered. "I'm trying not to be distracted by the oh-so-romantic secret base." _

_Sarah reached for her remote and pressed a button that shut off the lights. It wasn't like he was distracted in the first place but now he had nothing else to focus on - just her. Who was in fact looking more beautiful that ever today._

"_Concentrate. Keep looking into my eyes, don't look up." She demanded, carefully trying to prevent herself from swooning, she had never stared this long - or hard into his eyes before. And it felt delicious, it was new, it was terrifying but it also felt like home at the same time too. _

_She felt her eyes pricking with the air getting to her eyes, but she didn't want to blink, she didn't even want to miss a second of it. "If you can't hold her stare, then look at her lips." She added._

_Obediently, his eyes dropped to her mouth and suddenly it didn't feel like he was preparing for his date with Jill anymore, it felt like he was living out his dream, his fantasy. _

"_Good." She said. Her breathing became erratic - she wanted him so much that she could have lustfully thrown him on the floor. She was finding it harder and harder to believe that one person could do this to her - how a single person make her feel like she was on top of the world and make her feel scared at the same time but so, so in love. She still hadn't stopped falling for him, everyday her love for him deepened and grew and so did her want for him. It was the hardest thing to do in the world, keeping it all inside and now, this was her moment._

"_Now move her hair back behind her ear." Who's ear? Were they still both thinking about Jill? _

_Chuck stroked her hair back behind her ear and she felt her temperature rise._

"_And when you start to kiss, focus again on her." He kept coming closer to her, he forgot about everything else, he just wanted to be here right now. _

"_And just when your lips are about to meet, close your eyes." Chuck did so and now he was barely centimetres away from her, she felt her heartbeat quicken, her whole body melt to his touch. He just kept moving closer and this was it, he was going to do it._

"_Okay, good, good - you're all set." Sarah said quickly, she gave in to the voice that was telling her not to do it, not now - he had to get this mission over and done with and he didn't need their kiss hanging over him like a dangling knife._

_Reality hit him like a slap in the face. "Huh?"_

"_Oh, yeah, yeah." He mumbled, feeling more disappointed than when Jill had turned out to be Fulcrum._

"_Hey!" Casey's voice sounded. "Just picked up a purchase from Jill's credit card. Tickets to some stupid concert down at the music centre." He carried on walking. "Better not be another freaking opera."_

"_Well, we'll be there waiting for you. Just remember Jill is capable of anything." Sarah said. She meant that Jill was a backstabbing bitch and would do anything to get what she wanted._

_Chuck could do nothing but nod, still under her spell, his skin sparkling with numbness, he nodded slowly and walked silently away. She turned and looked back at him, "I love you." Her most outgoing part of her brain shouted like a siren. _

"Hey! Sarah, are you okay?" Chuck asked. "You've been standing there for about two minutes, just staring at the floor."

"Yeah." She sighed. "I was just thinking about something - sorry. I heard what you said to Jill."

"What? You mean when I said that she tried to kill you and she made that decision for me?" He asked, swinging his car keys in his hand as they were approaching the Nerd Herder.

She couldn't stop a smile from springing to her lips. "Yes. That's what I meant."

He turned to her and stopped in his tracks, his eyes gazing up at the sky. "You know how much I care about you Sarah, don't you? Because if anyone ever tried to hurt you, I'd kill them. I don't believe in violence but I'll always fight for you." He put his hands on her upper arms and stared openly into her eyes, the electricity seeping out of them and zinging into her.

"I.." She looked down at the floor. "Thank you. And the same to you."

He smiled at her, he came closer to her, kissed her on the cheek and wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tight. She pulled her arms away from her sides and wrapped them around his neck, inhaling his sweet scent. He just held her, nothing else in the world mattered, they were in their own alternate universe.

Nothing was ever enough to satisfy his want for her, he wanted to squeeze her tighter but he didn't want to hurt her. He pulled away slightly, and put his hand to her face.

"You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now, but I know I can't." He sighed, pulled his hand away and continued walking to the car. She sat awkwardly in his Nerd Herder and they didn't say a word as he dropped her home.

Two hours later Sarah was ready to come to Ellie's for dinner, both were changed and dressed up. They spoke for a little while about Jill as they walked through the courtyard. He spoke about how he'd always been too trusting - that he hadn't yet got used to all the spying and lying. She told him not to get used to it because he was special the way he was. He believed her.

"I'm glad I have you." He clasped his hand around hers.

She glanced down at their hands and then smiled up to him. "We're better as a team."

They walked in through the door, and were greeted by the delicious smell of Ellie's Thanksgiving dinner. Everyone was there, including Jeff and Lester. Sarah sat down at the table after saying hello to everybody and felt like part of the family. She felt at home.

Sarah had had over two glasses of wine so everyone agreed that she should stay over. Since she was over the limit. Several hours had passed and everyone had gone home and Ellie and Awesome were preparing to go to bed since it was gone midnight.

"We'd better go to bed too, Sarah." Chuck smiled at her.

"Okay." She smiled back sleepily.

The both sat on the bed and Chuck slipped off his jeans, not bothering to change. Sarah automatically went to his closet and pulled out an oversized T-shirt of his, slipping into the bathroom she pulled it on and came back into the bedroom and slid under the covers next to him.

"It's cold!" She moaned sleepily.

"Come here." He said, dragging her light body next to him, he wrapped his arms around her. She snuggled into his chest as he turned the lights off. As her eyes adjusted slowly to the darkness, she wrapped her legs around him and squeezed him tight.

"It's just-"

"I know it's just because your cold." Chuck laughed to himself, not believing her, he knew her well enough now to know that she did actually want him. He wasn't sure if he wanted her more, but he knew that he wanted her more than living forever. He loved her so much right now it actually hurt his chest, he couldn't sleep now with the swirling of his stomach and the new floppiness of his limbs. Despite all this, he had never felt so alive.

"Sarah?" He whispered.

"Yes." She lifted her head and could just make out his eyes through the darkness.

"I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight - I can tell already." He said quietly.

"Why?" She asked, but she already knew. She felt completely the same, like their hearts were in complete harmony with one another's.

"At least - not until I do this." Chuck said. She wondered what he meant, was he about to crawl out of bed to sleep on the sofa? She was aware of the fact his head was coming closer to hers. Before she could do anything, his lips were on hers, pushing her down on the bed he let his tongue escape into her mouth as the kiss deepened. He put his arms around her, want exploding throughout his body. She instantly responded, they rolled over so that she was on top and she held his face and their tongues danced. Everything was mixed up in her head now as he gently pulled away.

"Thanks." He whispered. "I might just be able to sleep now."

He pulled her on top of him and held her in his embrace. "I wasn't finished." Sarah added, she put her lips back on his again and they kissed for a very long time - both knowing that they wouldn't talk about it in the morning - they were used to it now. They both lived in the moment - when the moment decided to pop up they grasped it with both hands.

"Okay." She lay her head on his chest. "Goodnight."

**You have no idea how much I enjoyed writing that! I know you expect me to go completely AU but I am keeping it within the plotlines of the show - if you get what I mean, so that they still actually get together when they do, but I like doing the hidden moments people never see.. I still like exploring the feelings of some episodes though, maybe I should have named this story something different. **

**I love those two together, so much. I know it's just a TV show but.. It feels so magical to me. Anyway .. ****Review! **

**One more thing.. I have been writing a Chuck Halloween story, which I will be posting on Sunday - look out for it!**


	21. Chuck versus The Sensei

**Chapter 21**

Sarah walked into Orange Orange to find Chuck perched nervously on the edge of the counter, his hands were embracing his knees to his chest and his face was painted with what Sarah assumed was concern.

"Is he mad?" Chuck asked. "I feel horrible."

She guessed he was referring to Casey. "Casey is always mad - that's his baseline."

"I shouldn't have said all that stuff in front of the General." He said guiltily.

She took a few steps towards him and could feel her newly fragile heart hammering beneath the layers of her chest. "I mean the facts are the facts."

"True." He replied. "But the guy's going through a lot, if I were really a friend I would look past what he's saying and remember how he's feeling. I mean I should know better than anyone what he's going through right now." He glanced downwards at the floor, feeling uncontrollably sorry for himself.

She felt a magnetic force suddenly pull her towards him. She placed her hand on his and felt her whole body tingle with what she presumed was love. A rush made her say what she said next. "Chuck, you're so sweet."

His eyes connected with hers for a moment, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. She sank back to reality and removed her hand from his, causing the her blood flow to resume pumping what was normal for it to be when she was around him.

"But, you know, an apology isn't going to work because Casey is combat ready at all times and his feelings are liabilities." She said truthfully.

"Well aren't you supposed to be combat ready at all times?" He gazed at her and she knew she wasn't combat ready at all times anymore, it was obvious that the rock hard exterior she had put up long before she had met Chuck was slowly melting away. It felt wrong and bad but it also relieved her from some of her past pain. Sometimes it felt good to feel safe - to just breathe without a heavy rain cloud hanging over her head.

Life always had unexpected turns she wasn't always ready for them anymore. She crossed every bridge when she came to it now. That's how she was living and she loved it with a guilty passion.

Chuck did the cute half smile at her that always made her heart melt. "I'll meet you at your sister's wedding food tasting after your Buy More shift and please, don't go downstairs.. Leave Casey alone."

Chuck was already planning on how to disobey her orders already.

23:00

Chuck lay on his bed, silently twiddling his thumbs and thinking about how he was going to find his father, he wasn't going to tell Sarah yet - but when he did, he was going to need her help and he prayed she would come through for him.

The night seemed to stretch on forever, he couldn't being himself to get up and turn off the light but yet he wasn't tired at all. Suddenly he heard a sharp tap on the window and he sat bolt upright, ready to scream like a little girl. Then, the curtain twitched and a familiar golden lock of hair appeared, then a gorgeous head and a long, slender body.

He rubbed his eyes. "Sarah?"

"Chuck!" She smiled, settling on the windowsill, cupping her head in her hands. "I had some loose ends to do at Casey's, you know - work stuff and I thought I'd pop by.."

"At eleven o'clock in the night?" He said with a devilish grin on his face.

Sarah couldn't really explain why, though she wanted to. She longed to tell him that she wouldn't be able to sleep unless she saw him, it was almost like he was her drug, she needed her fix every day. Looking at him now, she'd never felt more in love with him even though he was just in his pyjamas sprawled out on his bed with his hair sticking up awkwardly at the top.

"I just wanted to see if you were okay after today, you know, with Casey and his sensei .." Sarah babbled. "And for some reason I didn't think I'd be able to get to sleep tonight, so…"

He loved seeing her all nervous, it was a rare event - he could even see she was getting tired, her eyelids were growing heavier by the second. He felt his palms turned sweaty and the blood started to pump faster around his body, she had the power to make him turn to jelly, with just one look.

"Come.. Sit over here." He smiled. "I guess I'll have to talk to you until I bore you to sleep with my nervous babble."

"You're not boring!" She protested meekly, though she was too tired to even talk properly. She sighed to herself - knowing exactly why she was there but she wasn't able to get the words out, it was physically impossible. "Can we go for a drive or something?"

"Or something! I'm really tired Sarah.. Sorry." He felt his limbs lock in mild disobedience.

"Yes, and that's why you were lying here with your eyes open and twiddling your thumbs." She laughed, trying to catch his eye.

"You were watching me?" He narrowed his eyes and smiled cheekily.

She wanted to admit that she had been, just watching him had been a major indulgence for her. Sometimes she felt as if she was in a Mills and Boons novel but she couldn't stop, sometimes it was nice just to let herself give in and just let herself feel everything she felt for him. When she was at work being Sarah Walker the super spy, she felt so torn between being that and the person she was when she was with Chuck - she felt as if she was splitting in two sometimes, it wasn't the way one was supposed to go through life.

"No.. I saw you before I came in the window!" She argued.

"Right. And my name's George Bush." Chuck tilted his head and raised his eyebrows sarcastically.

"Nice to meet you, George." She stood up as did he and they held a long and intense stare.

"Why can't you just admit you watched me for a minute?" He said, boldly taking a step towards her.

"Why would I be admitting to something I hadn't done?" She came closer to him, the heat between them was building a sensation shot from her chest to her crotch and she shuddered. _Shake it off, Sarah, shake it off. _He couldn't even hold eye contact with her, it made him want to dive on her and do things to her that shouldn't even be written in words.

"Would it be so wrong?" He placed his hand on her arm and her skin grew hot and prickling goosebumps appeared on the skin where his fingers had grasped her. He felt her skin rise in temperature and almost praised himself, he was going to be the boss for once and he wanted an answer. It wasn't so much that he wanted her to admit it, it was that he just wanted this 'conversation' to carry on forever.

"I'm not saying it's wrong! Why won't you believe me?" She said stubbornly.

"I know when you're lying, Sarah." _Did he? _He folded his arms but didn't move away from her, his breathing was unsteady and he was certain that his breath was rasping.

"Fine!" She sighed, dropping her defensive shoulders. "Happy now?"

"Ecstatic!" He beamed, grabbing her hand and sitting her down on the bed, eager to change the subject once he had noticed her defeated expression. She closed her eyes for a moment and suddenly she felt exhausted again, all the days events weighing down on her - Casey's sensei going rogue.. Being kidnapped.

"I'm tired." She said laying back. "I'd better drive myself home."

"You're too tired, I'll take you in the Nerd Herder and you can get your car in the morning, okay?" He was already pulling on his jeans whilst her eyes were adverted.

Before she was about to protest, his car keys were already in his hand. "Come on!"

"Okay." She dragged herself out into his car, barely remembering how she even got there. Then everything went black.

Chuck could hear Sarah softly snoring in the passenger seat, he placed his unoccupied hand on hers and felt a little relieved, he wrapped his fingers around hers as he drove down the darkened streets and felt he needed to say something whilst he had the opportunity.

"Look.. I don't think I could ever say this to you when you're awake so.. Here goes…" He took a breath. "Sarah ever since you came into my life, I've never been the same, everything seems so pointless without you and uh.. I have.. kind of.. fallen in love with you, I mean, who wouldn't? Your gorgeous, smart, kind and amazing in every single way. So there, I said it.. I love you."

He approached the street where her hotel was situated. He gave her hand a little squeeze and let it go. "Sarah, we're here."

She opened her eyes and shook her head. "Oh, okay thanks.. See you tomorrow.. Thanks for the lift."

"Bye." He waved as she tiredly opened the door.

She meekly waved as he pulled off. She couldn't believe she'd fallen asleep in the car, it seemed like one moment she was in Chuck's bedroom and the next moment she was outside her hotel room. She let herself into her empty room and sat on her bed, grabbing a picture of her and Chuck.

She traced her long finger on his frozen face. "I love you." She sighed, before turning off the light.

**I've had the worst case of writer's block, sorry. I'm back now though and ready to write. With all the stories I've written I think I could publish a book before I even reach my fifteenth birthday! I'm only joking. Thanks.. REVIEW! (But you knew I was going to say that.)**


	22. Chuck versus The DeLorean

**Chapter 22**

"You okay?" He asked as she rubbed her arm up and down with her hand.

"I'm fine." She smiled unconvincingly.

He noticed that she was cold. "Here." Chuck said, draping his jacket over her shoulders.

She held it close and imagined it was him holding her instead, confused still by the disappearance of her father and still swimming in a sea of newfound emotions. Half of her wanted to walk into the sunset with Chuck but the other half wanted to be back sitting in the back of her father's car and singing along to his stolen radio.

He looked into the distance and saw her father peeping behind the bush and he put his arm around her as they walked back inside.

"He'll be back soon." Chuck said hopefully.

"No, he won't." Sarah said sadly.

Chuck didn't answer as they silently walked inside. He liked seeing her more venerable side but didn't like seeing her so upset. She wasn't upset physically, but he could see her mind anxiously ticking away. He wanted to hold her close and tell her that it would all be okay, but what could he say to make it better? He was already without a father, so he really wasn't an expert in that area.

"Come on let's go out." Sarah said, an hour later, tired and withdrawn after explaining everything to the General. Her face was bruised internally from when Casey had 'arrested' her and slammed her down on the car bonnet.

Chuck's heart swelled with hope and anticipation. He tried to keep himself grounded mentally but he could already feel himself wrapping his arms around her - he got so lost in his daydreams sometimes, in which he would just walk up to Orange Orange one day and she would be there, his visit would be both wanted and unexpected. He would stare into her eyes intensely for a few moments and then he would move quickly towards her, his lips searching for hers and they would be lost in one another's embrace and nothing else would matter.

"Chuck? Why are you just gazing at the floor like that?" She asked, shaking his arm.

"What? Oh sorry, what did you say?" He apologised, turning to face her ashen face.

She sighed inwardly. "Do you want to go out somewhere, I've had a really.. bad day. You don't have to I mean.. you could always go home. We're not really at work now.." She felt herself almost turning into a babbling, female version of Chuck.

He pressed his hand on her arm and she felt a hot sweat overcome her. "Don't you know by now Sarah, that we're friends?"

She had never really thought of it like that before, it was usually just 'for the cover' but she supposed not everything had to be down to that and they just could actually be friends, in theory. Deep down she knew they could never be friends, she was too head-over-heels in love for that.

"It's been a while since I've actually had a friend in the spy game." She admitted. "Someone who wasn't lying or scheming."

He took her hand in his. "I'll never hurt you, Sarah, I promise."

He searched for his keys in his pocket and held them out in front of her. "Where would you like you go m'lady?"

"You don't have to if you don't want to.." She said, feeling like she had pushed him into it, she felt strange like she had to force herself to get words out, what the hell was going on with her? As if being in love hadn't already taken away her ability to walk straight when she was with him, taken away the smoothness of her skin and replaced it with a constant tingling sensation and gone was her good, sturdy stomach, it was now continuously flipping and filled with butterflies.

"I do, Sarah." He said, as though he was saying his vows.

"I know we always go there.. Well, not always but whenever we go somewhere. How does the beach sound?" She asked.

"But it's freezing. It's almost December.. But hey, it's America. Let's go." He didn't want to protest, that was their place. A place where they weren't constantly under surveillance and could just be themselves, but obviously with their own personal restrictions. Chuck was always hoping that something would happen between them, he thought about it first thing in the morning, throughout the day and he laid about for hours at night thinking about it, his thoughts viciously circling around his head.

A short time later they stepped out of the car, still half asleep from the drive but when the cool sea air slapped their faces they were suddenly wide awake again.

"Do you want to walk.. Or..?" Sarah asked.

"I'd rather sit, if you don't mind." He replied, sitting himself down and embracing his knees to his chest.

"That would have been my answer too." She added, placing herself beside him.

They had come at the perfect time, the sun was setting on the horizon before them and the tide was getting further and further away. Sarah didn't even throw a thought towards her father, when she was here she and Chuck were in their own world. She felt as though they were the only people on the planet (except for the crowds of people towards the other end of the beach) .

He turned to look at her, hopefully without her noticing, but he found that her shining blue eyes were gazing into his. She couldn't fight it anymore, why should stop this to herself from coming to her desires? What was she gaining, denying herself the love of this man? He couldn't control himself either, a strong force was pulling him closer… closer until his lips locked on hers and nothing on earth could have pulled them apart.

It was almost as if stars were dancing around them, she held his face as if it were a precious gift and he ran his hands through her hair as his tongue explored the new depths of the mouth. They parted for a moment, fixing their eyes on one another and passion exploded between. Now both of them knew, they could never go back from this.

"I'm only going to say this once, Chuck. I've got my savings card and we have a car, we can go now and never look back." Sarah whispered into his ear.

He nodded as they ran towards the car park only leaving sandy footprints behind.

**I decided get them together now not like the end of season 2 like I was planning, and start a new project in the new year one of which I will work hard on and I'm actually make up my own story again, look out for it and REVIEW! Less than two months until I'm 15 yay!**


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